So Zach and Rachelle got back from visiting with there dad a week ago and it has gotten me pissed. See my ex has been a deadbeat or a barely paying deadbeat ever since we have divorced. He didn't pay me anything for years and once I got pissed and threatened him he has been paying $200 sporadically.He NEVER pays what he is supposed to and he has NEVER carried the insurance he was ordered to. When we went to court my lawyer didn't file the paperwork with the courts so I don't have a copy of the order to go after him and he knows it!
Rachelle just asked him to pay for a pair of glasses for her. Our insurance pays for the exam and part of the glasses he just has to pay the balance and Zach asked if he could help him buy a car (he proposed he will pay, we will , and his dad will) and the dirty dog refused to help! He won't help with braces, or Rachelle getting a replacement phone since hers broke! He won't help with football fees, or cleats, or school fees! He wants all the benefits of being dad (Disneyland dad) and none of the hard stuff. He sucks!
So anyhow the kids were telling me how well he is doing and how he has 3 different cars now. Trying to sell 2 of them.He buys them and guns for fun. Spent tons on guns. Right, can't help my daughter buy glasses so she can see, but what the heck..I need a new shotgun. Oh, and I don't even hunt!
So, I am kind of pissed right now. He didn't want to pay me anything last month cause the kids were coming for a week and we got in a big fight when I pointed out he doesn't even pay me the $500 he is supposed to and that if he doesn't pay at least $200 I am not going to send them.
When we got divorced my attorney did not file the paperwork with the courts. Although we were divorced the only record of it is in the court minutes and it takes lots of time and money to locate it and file. So I have no order to go after him through the state and he knows it!
So...What to do? I have let this slide for 13 years now. He owes me thousands of dollars and he has been a butthead. I am tempted to unleash my anger on him I swear.
So I am thinking if I can't get him to pay financially Maybe I need to find other ways to make him pay. Here are a few I thought might be affective!
1. I am going to go down to 7-11 and get all those magazine subscription cards out of them subscribe him to as many magazines as I can and mark the bill me box
2.Have a accomplice go to his house and toss a dead fish under his seat in the car
3. Place popcorn kernels in his tailpipe along with some cooking oil. Idiot will leave a trail of popcorn behind him!
4.Take out a bulletin board along the freeway with his picture on it..have you seen me? #1 deadbeat dad!
5. Contact the local KKK office and get as many KKK pride bumper stickers as I can and decorate his car with them
6. Look in swingers magazines for homo prostitutes or "masseurs" that make house calls and send them to his house
7. Call the local police and give them a "tip" that I have become aware of my good friend trafficking drugs in his car and that they are "well" hidden
8.Call a local landscaping company, and have them bring a few tons of granite rocks to his house, and re-landscape his front yard while he's at work. Have them rip up the current grass or whatnot, and dump rocks there
9. Periodically call taxi and limo services to his house. Not only will he have to deal with pissed off drivers who aren't going to make any money for the drive, he will eventually get flagged in their databases as someone who has ditched cabs in the past.
10.Use anti-freeze on grass. Spell out dead beat lives here or pour antifreeze all over, so he will wonder why his grass is dying off in spots.
11.Cover his lawn in shredded newspaper, then douse it with water. Picking it up will take him days.
12.Go all around his neighborhood and steal all the 'for sale' signs (realty, yard sale), and cover his front lawn with them.
So~ As you can see I think I have something here! I might need to enlist the help of family and friends in his area for this covert mission but I think they would enjoy it as much as I would!
He told me after we got divorced that he was surprised in court to actually see me stand up for myself! Hmm.. I don't think I have that problem anymore. Stupid , Stupid boy.He doesn't pay..I want to make him pay~ Just not financially!
Freakin Dirty Deadbeat Dog
"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"
- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
Ps ~ Lighten up!! I'm not really going to do these things... I just like to think about mean things I could do to make his life not so nice since he has caused me 13 years of frustration. I have a mean streak and the thought of doing these things gives me a giggle!
12 comments:
GO GET HIM!!! My son Nathan also has a deadbeat Dad. Thankfully, that Deadbeat Dad was stupid too. He signed away his rights to Nathan a few years ago so my husband was able to adopt him. My ex hadn't seen Nathan in years anyway. If I didn't call and tell him it was his turn to take Nathan he wouldn't get him. That was/is fine with me because he was a druggie looser who was sleeping around and couldn't even keep his job as a burger flipper at Burger King.
Have you tried The Office of Recovery Services? My Ex had to pay. They took it out of his check. As for not getting the papers filed, can you get that done now? I mean, it may be more money but it might pay in the long run. If you can prove he was ordered to give you child support, they will garnish his wages...even for back child support! My ex was getting next to nothing in his checks. Mwahahaha.
Lauri I just love your thoughts. They just make me laugh but the time it would take to do all or any of these things you would be wasting your time on him. You should try to find the paper work and locate a way to collect the money owed to you. Also is it worth the fight and pain that it keeps causing. I think that maybe you should just tell him that you are going to take away all his rights and be done with him. I am not sure how Zach and Rach would feel but what has he really done that is father worthy. I wish there were simple answers for your plight but I feel that you should take the higher road and take away the only power he has left, his "Name". That is the only link that ties them together and what a lose he will have if they are no longer in his life.. Love you lots and I love reading your blog much better than mine.
The man is a total waste of space and oxygen!! Just be grateful that you got 2 great kids out of the deal.
You go girl! I know it is wishful thinking, but it sure would be nice. It is so unfair how some men just have these kids and expect their exes to just keep it all together on their own. He has always been a cheap weasel. Good luck!
It would be wonderful if he read this and had a change of attitude, but I don't think that's possible. I know it's hard on the kids now that they are old enough to realize who he is. The good news is the kids are nothing like him and you get the credit for that. They couldn't possibly be more fantastic than they are. I think we will form a team to figure out how to get him to take on some responsibility. In the meantime, blow off steam and enjoy the life you have now.
i think you should do the subscription thing. it won't take alot of time and he would never suspect you!! I'm sorry that he is the way he is, your kids deserve better. i love you!! continue to vent, it helps calm a person a little.
I liked all the ideas. Are you really not going to do any of them? How fun would it be?
What a loser. I feel for you and your kids. I hope one day the realization hits him on what he has missed out on.
I agree with above. It must be so frustrating for you, but luckily your kids have some one in their life that they can look up to as a good father figure and who does take care of all of their needs- not just Disneyland. What a tribute to your husband now that he takes care of all of your children.
What a second! It doesn't take that much money to nail his Butt! The courts have the records and it is public record... WHICH MEANS IT IS FREE!! Ya, I have a dead beat ex too. Call me. Maybe I can give you some tips on how to get the info. And you can ALWAYS file again. plus, now that you this kids are over 12 you can get a 10%increase. I would get on this if you want to ever see the money. Arizona has some new laws about how far you can go back and receive back child support. And I think once they hit 18 you have only 3 months to file. Again Call me. There is a lot of info. and a lot of it you can do yourself!
Sorry you and the kids have to go through this!! Been there and still doing that!! It sucks!!
Laurie;;;;
I know it's a giant pain in the butt. Been there, done that.
BUT, hire another attorney. It will probably cost a few hundred dollars, but totally worth it. You have him get the paper filed. Then you go to the DA and have them collect.
YOU WILL GET THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND THEY HAVE TO PAY THROUGH THE COURT OR GO TO JAIL!!!!
Totally worth it. I got lots of money, and monthly payments, and retroactive payment for dental work and braces...
Do it. You'll be SOOO happy and won't have to go to jail for all the things you've thought about doing...
You missed my favorite... if he's a car guy... go over in the dead of night... pour sand on top of the car, then a bucket of paint over that...
LOL
Hang in there kid!
Love, Aunt Lynda
Lauri,
Call the Division of Child Support Enforcement (DES) at 602-252-4045. You can also check out the webpage at https://www.azdes.gov/dcse/. I believe they will handle your case for free and will garnish his wages. Since you do not have an existing order they may help you file for child support. Either way, you need to take care of this. Each state usually has an enforcement agency, usually through the DA, which deals directly with dead beat dads. If they will take your case, once you get an order, they can file a wage assignment order (wao) and you will receive the court ordered child support right from his paycheck. You don't have to rely on him to write you a check if he receives some kind of paycheck.
If he gets paid under the table or cash, he will have to pay the money directly to DES instead of you. If he doesn't pay them then the government will get involved and take away his driver's license etc. if he continues to default.
Another option, if your attorney was told to file child support papers and didn't you could possibly sue for malpractice or hopefully they will take care of it.
I hope this is helpful. I've heard the enforcement agency is very effective. No need to tp his lawn lol. You might want to try DES first.
Yes, I agree, he should have to PAY UP!! I don't have much experience, but I definitely think you should go after that money. You are pretty creative in your ideas! I liked the popcorn idea. Would that really work? I'll have to try it sometime...... :) Sorry about the mess, hopefully you can get it worked out!!!
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