Atlanta Part 1!

Not sure how I am going to post this with so much stuff we did in Atlanta, but I will try to post some of our highlights from our trip to .
The first night we got in,Nana Isa and Walley Da were waiting for us at the airport with balloons and leis. It was so fun to see them again and we went from the airport to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants called Coco Loco.
Sunday Nana Isa cooked a wonderful Cuban roast chicken dinner and we were able to enjoy some time with family.
We left early Monday for Savannah. It is so beautiful there. The trip down there was a easy one and we had fun trying to identify what the road kill was! It tended to be raccoons, skunk, possum, and armadillos! Armadillos won out by far! I didn't know there were so many in this state! We were counting them and I gave up after 15! Kinda sick and fascinating all in one! Tony drew the line at stopping for me to get a picture of a dead one! kill joy tony!
We stopped at this little gas station that had farm animals and the kids got a kick out of feeding the animals!
When we got to Savannah we checked into our hotel then we headed out to explore a little before dinner. The squares there are amazing. So beautiful. For dinner we had dinner reservations at Paula Deans. As you can see from the pictures the fried chicken was delish! Ethan ate his weight in that stuff!
We rode the ferry boat and walked and had a fantastic time!
The next day we headed out to Tybee Island. It was perfect! Warm, lots of sun and the ocean was warm! I wish we could have stayed for a few more days. I didn't feel as if we had enough time to explore Savannah and Tybee so it will be on our agenda for the next trip!
Ok! so there was the first installment of our trip. Hopefully it wasn't too long winded! I'll post more later!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Ours is growing crazy! Here is a picture of Bailey and Grace's sunflower that they planted from a little seed!

We have had such fun with it. Tonight Tony and the girls picked some yellow squash and Tony cooked it up for everyone. Mmmm it was delish!

I guess 104 degrees is good for something around here. The plants love it even if I don't!

A Little Scare!

While we were in Atlanta last week I had a little scare and was bleeding. At first I thought it was just my cervix and the usual problems I tend to have. But it got worse and I was cramping alot. So I stopped doing anything. I laid around a bunch and Tony even had me use a wheelchair when we went to the aquarium. I thought that was overkill but he was insistent so I did it. Well guess what? I went to the Drs when I got home and they did a sonogram. Found out I had a placental abruption! Wow! Was told if I had not taken it easy and had not used the wheelchair it would have been catastrophic!
Can I just say how grateful I feel that things are OK? I was really uneasy and kept telling myself I was overreacting. Guess I wasn't worried enough!
Next week they are sending me to a perinatologist and I am on bed rest again. Funny how I don't mind doing bed rest this time after hearing the Dr tell me how lucky we are.
Good news is the baby is about a pound and a half. We're making progress here....

Stay tuned for some great pics of the family reunion in Atlanta! It was so cool to see so much family we haven't seen for over 10 years!!!

The Thong Debate~ Help Me Out!

Ok, I go back and forth on this one. I agree with one point of view and then the other.
One of my kids (who shall remain nameless Ü) has a fascination with thongs.
And I have told this person they can't wear them. And Yet I find a stray one here or there in the laundry. And yesterday I pulled six of them out of their load of laundry. And confiscated them. And this person is furious that I won't let them wear them. their point of view is that they are comfortable, and it gives them no panty lines. And their other panties hang out of their pants and people can see. And who cares if they wear them if no one eles sees them.
This has turned into a HUGE fight. Doors slammed. Saying they hate their life and hate their family. All over the thong!
And yet I keep hearing the thong song in my head......girl I know you wanna show that thooong.....let me see that thooongg...
See that's what guys think of when they see a thong. And they are so trashy when you see them hang out of jeans. And little girls do it all the time . sick.
And what about modesty? Does it matter if it is under your clothes and no one sees them?
And how about the sneakiness? I said no and yet they keep buying them.
Sooo....help me out here. You know~choose your battles. is this a battle to fight? Does it matter what is under the clothes? Do you think it is a problem that they even want to wear them in the first place? Oh and one of them freaks me out. Looks like a thong in the FRONT and the back. Umm ouch....yeast infection here it comes! Hmmm maybe a choice and consequence moment!

A Very Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! Hope your day was wonderful!

It was such a nice day for us! I had been planning all week trying to get as much done ahead of time so that Sunday would be a nice relaxing day. And~it was!

I made the 8 layer Easter jello, funeral potatoes, deviled eggs, and rolls the night before so that for Easter dinner all we had to do was pop the rolls, ham and potatoes in the oven and chop the strawberries up for the shortcake. And I used foil pans and paper plates! Yeah...no clean up! Brilliant! I know, I know Corrine....Paper plates are for picnics! I hear your voice as I was buying them ( Hehehe) but hey, they are also for crazy overwhelmed moms too! And I think my kids like not having to do dishes last night! I will admit I was feeling guilty not having nice dishes on the table but I think I am over it!

And guess what? I even went to church. At 9am! yes...9am! I only lasted for sacrament though. Zachary told me it was embarrassing hearing me puke in the bathroom when they were in the halls. What can you do when the church leaves the door to the bathrooms open? Even when I close them someone opens them so when you are puking everyone hears you! Nice! I don't do too well at that hour. It takes me a bit to get over puking in the morning and I was done.

So I went home, got some food, and put the ham in.

We had a wonderful early dinner, a egg hunt for the younger ones and just a super nice relaxing day! I even read a book for about a hour! WOW! What a difference this year. usually I cook and clean all day long and it is not fun!

Look at this pic of my lil fatty. Don't ya just want to gobble him up? He gets mad at me when I get those fat cheeks. I just can't help myself. He is too cute. I love him in a tie for church too. He looks so handsome!Here are a few more photos of the day. If it's photo overload, skip the slide!

Hope you all had as nice a day as we did!

How Do We Keep Them Safe?

It seems like some days I am on it. With the kids, house, It seems like everything just goes right. And then there are those days from hell. I can't seem to keep on top of it. Yesterday was SO one of those days! Want to know how it began? When Hannah left for school I dead bolted the front door. And then went back into my room where the little ones were. Bailey woke up and was crying about her head hurting and her neck hurting. I didn't even think twice when Ethan got out of bed and went into the other room. I was trying to comfort Bailey. But then I heard Hannah screaming my name a few minutes later. Apparently Ethan now knows how to unlock the dead bolt. And he escaped. And walked. All the way to the park! The kids at the bus stop pointed out the little boy who was climbing on the slide and Hannah freaked! She ran him home and gave me the surprise! What the crap? And so the day began.... Followed with him spraying tilex all over himself and the floor. Which of course them smell makes me puke and puke and puke. And can you say scary all over again? Nice, first escaping to the park, next getting into the chemicals. And I SWEAR I do watch him. I'm thinking I need a dog leash attached to him that I hold all day. Cause he got into the toilet too. And then after I gave him his second bath of the day I got him dressed again and then went into my room to put the movie Bolt on for the girls. And when I came out of the room guess what??? He was gone again. No where to be found. Not in the back yard. Not in the toilet. Not upstairs. So I am RUNNING to the park. (ouch) and he ends up not being there! I go home crying hysterically and am ready to call 911 when he comes strolling out of the garage with no diaper on (he likes to take it off and wipe poop on me or the walls as soon as he craps his diaper!) Not sure where he was. Tony thinks maybe he was hiding behind the trash cans. He also likes to open the freezer and sit in it. Or climb up and get the salt out to dump on the counters or climb up on top of the bunk beds and jump like superman. Or turn on the water in the back yard so he can make mud. He loves playing in the mud.He is crazy. Wild crazy unlike any kid I have ever had. Some days I am running and running just trying to keep him out of trouble and safe! Kids and especially this one can be exhausting! They run me ragged. And I worry about them. Can I keep them safe? Physically? Spiritually?It's a balancing act and some days it feels like I am failing miserably. I wonder why I can't be more on top of it. Do a better job. Protect them more.
And it's not just my lil ones. It's the bigger ones too. They don't always make the best choices. And it makes me feel like I am failing miserably.I can't seem to protect them.
I have been crazy worried about Zach. He has a girlfriend that I am not wild about. She texts him pictures of herself in skimpy bikinis, and her language is bad and she is ALL over him. I am sure she is a nice girl, she just doesn't have the same standards as we do. And he is really into her. They have been going out for several months and my worries have only increased. He has seemed to pull away from family and church and I feel like I am losing him somehow. Like Ethan I am terrified I am not able to keep him safe.
So I have come to the conclusion at this point the only thing I can do is to simply get down on my knees and beg for help. And hope for some tender mercy. And just when I am at the end of my rope like I was yesterday, I sometimes find that mercy and a little relief.
Like when I picked up my teens after school yesterday. They asked how my day was and how I was feeling. I told them about Ethan's adventures and they laughed and laughed. Then Zach asked me if it would be OK if he went to the Easter pageant at the temple with his friend Jordan and this girl Lauren. (NOT the girlfriend!)Now Lauren is a girl from church that he has had a crush on forever. And they have been good friends. She went on the trek with him last year and he told me how neat it was to talk to her about the feelings he felt on the trek and how it was such a spiritual experience. I think she is the first person who has been able to touch his heart on that level.She is proud of her religion and not afraid to voice it.The past few weeks he and Lauren have been hanging out and he is happier. And more kind to his family. And I have felt a softening in him.And yesterday as he was telling me about the pageant he said it might be fun if dad and I come with them. And then I wondered who this kid was and where did he put my kid?
And I felt my eyes well up with tears. And I felt like I am not in this alone. I felt like some of my prayers were being answered and that maybe it is not always up to me alone to protect my kids.
And somehow I didn't feel like such a crap mom anymore. And I knew I could face tomorrow better with a little more prayer and maybe some duct tape too.

ROSES ARE RED.......

Violets are blue

My mom has ovaries

And I do too!!!!

Yep folks~

The girls are super excited. Zach doesn't really care and I am good with either. So I am excited to know so that the shopping can now begin! I have NOTHING at all for a girl anymore, so I will have fun putting a serious dent in the bank account!

How do you like the poem? I had to laugh cause I was looking online for "cute ways to announce the gender of your baby" and they had that one and the one for a boy went almost the same. Roses are red,violets are blue my dad has a penis and I do too! hmmm cute way? I laughed and laughed.Who thinks this crap up anyway?

It was pretty fun seeing the baby sucking it's thumb and kicking and moving all over. It makes it so real. I am getting excited.

The bummer part of the day? I gained 6.5 lbs!!!! In three weeks! What the crap? I am still puking everyday so I was so freakin irritated. At least I lost so much weight already that I am only 2 lbs over my starting weight.

And my blood pressure is sky high. I am having to do a test this weekend where I collect urine for 24 hours and then go back into the drs for some blood tests. They think I have preeclampsia already! At only five months! Yikes. I am a little worried about this. Silly me thinking maybe this baby I might avoid some bed rest. Ugh. We'll see. Maybe things will work out ok still. I am just glad the baby is looking really healthy for now.

So, I am a rock star cause even though I look and feel like a whale I am going to post pics of my new "do' since people keep bugging me to show how it looks! I like it even if my kidlets don't. What do they know anyhow? They are a bunch of butt pickers who eat their boogers so I will take their opinion of what is good with a grain of salt!

If you don't like it keep your opinion to yourself. I am hormonal after all!

Can You Say Heaven?

I did it! I finally took the plunge and hired some help! My friend told me her stepdaughter was looking to make some extra money and would be interested in cleaning! So I finally gave her a call and she and her best friend came over today to clean!
Can I just say I am loving it? I didn't realize how much it bothered me having my house a dump until it was cleaned and I felt relief and excitement everytime I walk into the kitchen! My cupboards are wiped down and my fridge and floors are mopped!
Now I am wondering... Why didn't I do this sooner? I get it~ clean house~cleaned by someone eles =Heaven!
I am going to schedule her again and I think my cousin's daughter to work on laundry. Who knows maybe by the time this baby is born I might have a totally put together house once again! Ahhh the thought Ü

I Look Like A Transvestite???

Okay, so I have not been feeling so great so of course I really haven't done much with myself but I was getting tired of feeling like a troll and looking like one too. I may feel bad but I don't have to look it too.So I made a apt to get my hair done. The last time I had my hair done was for my birthday. And they FRIED it! It was ugly. So I went to a really nice salon and they promised me they could fix it.
It took 4 hours to do my hair and wax my eyebrows. I guess I needed alot of work. And it was freakin crazy expensive~But I was tired of looking bad so what the heck. And when I was done I actually felt pretty good.So I decided to head down to Macy's grand opening and get some foundation. I have that dang pregnancy mask still from Ethan. I wanted something to cover it.
The woman kept saying she couldn't decided if it would be better to go really dark and cover it cause she thought it looked so bad or if she went a shade lighter and helped minimize the impact. Hmmm not helping me feel my best but whatever.
So I go home and Hannah says "What the the heck did you do to your hair? It looks like crap"
I went to my room and laid down and Grace came and laid next to me. She was studying my face then said " Wow mom, You look like a man with makeup on!" OK, so now I look like a transvestite! I think my plan is back firing here!
Yesterday at the store I took a deep breathe and the cashier asked if I was OK. I told her yeah, just prego and nauseated and she said I can see that. You look super pale.
And today at Sam's club I passed a lady doing a food demonstration and she asked how I was today. I said good thank you. Her response? You look really, really tired.
Note to self~ Instead of spending over 200 bucks to feel better, just spend $20 on some really, really good chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate!

Spring Break Fun?

Spring break is here and I am scrambling to try to find something for the kids to do. Am I the only mom who does nothing for spring break? The guilt is killing me that we aren't on some fantastic trip somewhere or we aren't on the go every day. I'm hearing all the other moms who have something scheduled everyday! I think I am lagging here on the mom front.

On Saturday Tony decided to take the kids to the Ostrich Festival here in town. I declined. Ethan was sick and I was puking and certain that I would be puking in public if I went. Tony thought I could do it, but I decided public humiliation was just too much.

The girls were still sick (it's been over a week now) but they still had a fantastic time! Bailey wanted to ride the Ferris wheel but no one would go on with her so she wasn't able to. She kept telling me she is really brave and so it would have been fun for her. Fortunately they had more mellow rides that Grace and Hannah were willing to go on with her. Grace's fav was the spinning Kangaroos.

They had Cotton Candy, and Corn Dogs, and saw the Ostriches, rode rides and even bought a souvenir so I think the day was a success.

They came home happy and tired. Bailey went straight to her room and got out her PJs and put them on and climbed into my bed. Definitely not feeling 100% yet.

By 9:00 that night they were all crying and we ended up having to hit the Urgent care. I just couldn't handle many more nights of kids up all night crying. Besides feeling sick from being prego I had the flu from them too, so I was hoping the Dr's could give us something to put them on the mend.

Here they are at the Dr's at about 11pm. Done.Cooked. Stick a fork in them. Ethan kept telling Tony and I and then the Dr. I wanna go home...I wanna go home. Pitiful. Just plain pitiful!

But it was worth it. We got antibiotics for everyone and some meds for the pain. Ahh rest is in sight!

So, we are feeling better but I don't think I have much umph to do much. I'm thinking taking Hannah out for a mani and pedi as a way of thanking her for helping out so much this past week and maybe taking the kids to lunch at Peter Piper Pizza. And if I decided to really get crazy, maybe we will go to a movie. Walk on the wild side. we'll see. I am a total slug right now. Sad but so true!

Last week when I was having a rather bad day I remembered a meal a lady brought to me when I was pregnant with Hannah. I loved it and got the recipe from her. I wondered if I could find it since it has been over 10 years and I wasn't sure if I knew where the recipe was. It just sounded really good to me.

Well, I found it! Yeah! So I made a big batch of it and have been eating it daily. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Yeah...I am weird like that.If some kind of food sounds good I will eat it. Over and over again. Especially since not much sounds good.

You've probably seen this recipe before, but I will post if for those who haven't. It's easy and delish. Plus I used a rotisserie chickens so it was almost no cooking involved. Nice

Let me know if you try it and like it!

Party Chicken Salad

2 C. Shell Macaroni

1 C. Coleslaw Dressing

1 C. Mayo

2 C. Diced Water Chestnuts

4 C. Cooked Diced Chicken

1/2 Green Onion

2 C. Chunck Pinneapple

2 C. Red or Green Grapes

2 C. Celery

2 C. Chopped Apples

1/2 C. Slivered Almonds or Cashews

Cook Macaroni. Add mayo and dressing. Chill. Add chicken. Dice apples,sprinkle with lemon juice. Dice onions and celery. Drain pineapple add ingredients together and chill until ready to serve.

Time To Hire A Maid?

We have all been sick around here. Again. It just keeps going around and around and around! Frustrating!
Today I stayed in bed with Bailey and Ethan and Grace got up with Hannah. About a half an hour later I hear Grace crying. I get up to check on her and I find her crawling around on the floor picking up things and then grabbing her head. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was trying to pick up the front room but her head was hurting her so bad. I felt her head and she now has a fever too! Poor girl. So I put her in bed with us and giver her some medicine and she sleeps for a few hours.
We got up and went to buy Slurpee's and when we got home all Grace wanted was for me to grab the laptop. When I asked her why she said I needed to look on the computer to find us a new home. One that was clean like our house was when we moved into it!
Yeah,I have been frustrated having the house messy too, but what do you do when you don't feel good and aren't functioning so great?
I had been meaning to get someone in to help but haven't done it. So... I get it, I'm on it I swear! It's time to hire a maid!

Spring Is In The Air!

Kinda of.It's definitely not the spring I am used to, but it is definitely spring!

I'm turning into a wimp I think! Last week it was 90 degrees and it was feelin a bit warm for me. But yesterday and today it is in the low 70's and I am chilly! What the heck? When we lived in Utah and Colorado the 70's was warm to me! I think Arizona is twisting me!

It does have a bonus here right now though..the orange blossoms are bloomin right now. When I am queesy the smell kills me but when I am feeling OK it is heavenly! Tony and I were out the other night and I told him I thought I was smellin a Gardenia bush. He showed me the Orange Blossoms and had me take a wiff. It is amazing the strength of those little blossoms. At least there is something around here that seems a little like spring!

I have to say I am missing the weeks right after the snow melts off and first the Crocus bloom and then the Tulips. I miss having fabulous flowers in my garden! We are trying to garden here too though. Tony took the girls to Lowe's and let them pick out a bunch of flowers and seeds to plant in the garden! They have been fun to watch. They go out every day to water the garden and check it's progress. I think they are mostly excited about the strawberry bushes.I can't wait until the cantaloupe come up. They are going to be thrilled to see that.

We planted tomatoes, broccoli, squash, cucumbers, cantaloupe, watermelons, strawberries, and carrots.

The tomatoes and broccoli and growing like crazy already.

Our ward has a plot of land that they want every family planting some things on. We are going to do our corn there since we are pretty limited on space here.

It's really nice when I have been feeling crappy Tony gets home and all the kids head outside to tend to the garden. I come out and sit in the patio chairs and watch. The sun feels good with a little breeze blowing and it is delightful to watch the excitement of them as they gauge how much their garden has grown the past few days! It is a good way to take my mind off of feeling crappy. Sometimes it's just nice to take in the good around you!

So..Has spring arrived where you are? Are you loving it? I think we are! Now summer~That's a whole nother story here!

Back To Square One!

Can I just say FRUSTRATING!!!!Just when I thought I was getting a grip with these lil ones..dang..back to square one!
I had gotten Ethan on a really fantastic schedule. Up at 7am, down for a nap at 11:30, down for the night between 7:30 and 8 pm. It was really working. Seriously my very first kid who was on a schedule and actually took naps!
And Grace was finally potty trained! She went almost six months completely potty trained!
And I needed these. The naps daily, one less poopy diaper to change. It was a few less things to worry about while feeling so crappy!
But when I got out of control sick and kept having to go back to the Dr's and hospital, Grace decided I was dying. She had a meltdown. Kept telling everyone I was dying. And she started wetting herself. When the home health nurse comes by to hook up the IVs and go over the info, she starts crying and will wet herself! Or she will just pee in the car. No Rhyme or reason why! Ughh! And she refuses to go back to diapers. Pulls them off. And she won't go potty when I try to get her to. She just keeps wetting herself!
And Ethan the little bugger now climbs out of his crib. He wakes up around 4:30 am and will not go back to sleep. I will put him back over and over and he just keeps climbing out! And can I say I feel so pukey at that time? I have no Patience.
And so long nap times. He climbs out! I need him to take naps! I need naps then too!
Help!!! I am tortured!
So I am now contemplating alternative methods. I am up for any suggestions too!You know like shock therapy or restraints in the bed!

Missing My Hubby, And Question..Should I Worry?

Tony is in Vegas for the managers conference and I am missing him! He has really had to step it up around here helping me and now that he is gone I can really see how much he was doing! Dang!
I was kinda worried how I was going to do for almost a week on my own but it has been OK.

Before Tony left he cleaned my room so I'd have a clean place to hide out then the morning he was going to fly out he got up early and mopped the floors since I had gone to bed the night before complaining how gross it was that my feet were sticking to the floors in the kitchen! Nice. He said he just wanted me to feel like things were not out of control.

And my super sweet sister in law Janeal called last week and told me she had ordered me a bunch of dinners from Dream Dinners. How nice is that? I only had to go pick them up. They were already assembled. Can I just say I love this lady? Janeal~ You are the best!Thanks!
So I had a fresh start before he left. Clean house, and meals already prepared.
I guess I am going to survive without him after all. Funny when he is here some days I want to punch him in the face or send him out to the car to sleep ( relax..haven't done it yet..just a thought..) And now that he is gone I miss him like crazy. He really is my best friend and I love ( almost all of the time) being with him!


Lately though~

I worry my kids are feral at this point. Kinda animalistic! Want to know what the dictionary definition of feral is?
A feral organism is one that has escaped from domestication and returned, partly or wholly, to its wild state. See....they are sadly, sadly feral!

Here are some examples to prove my point~

They have resorted to scrounging for food. They no longer rely on someone finding their food for them, they have turned to the survival instinct in them and have found clever ways to get it themselves.

Their hair has become kinda wild and nappy.Almost matted like.

They seldom wear clothes. They have decided to go back to their natural state.

And they have decided to forgo dishes. Much more efficient eating and drinking off the floor.

See...My kids are now feral. Scary!Should I worry?

Time Flies...

Do you ever have those moments that you stop and think Dang! When did that happen? I find myself thinking that over Hannah lately! She has really matured and changed these past few months! Help...she's a teeny bopper now! When did this happen?

She used to like to watch spongebob, play with her sisters, and listen to kidsbop. Her pants were tight in the waist and long in the legs.She was content to stay home and play club penguin all day on the computer. She had friends at school but didn't socialize so much outside of school.She was a even tempered easy going kinda girl.

How is it that so much has changed so quick? First thing I noticed is her height! She may not be a dwarf like Rach and I! She has gotten really tall lately.She has really stretched and I think it makes her look older. She is no longer happy with Sponge bob. It's all about shows like Gilmore girls, a secret life of a American teenager,and what I like about you.Instead of the computer she talks on the phone all day. Often plotting for the sleepover she is planning. (Come on mom it's only 9 girls!)She has suddenly turned into a social butterfly! Can I tell you how happy I am that she finally has a lot of friends here? Yeah! It has been good for her.

Another thing? can you say moody? HELP! The hormones have taken over! Fortunately not completely. She hasn't gone into the fog completely yet!

Strange that all of the sudden I am struck with how quickly this one is growing up. I take comfort in knowing that One of the things I love about this girl is that although she is growing up she is still my sweet Hannah. Always concerned about me. Always willing to help out. Even with her growing up it is nice to know that she still loves her mama. At least for another year or so right?

Happy Valentine's Day!

One of my kids very favorite holidays is Valentines. Every year we have a tradition. It's a valentines breakfast. My mom did it for us every year too and I loved it so much so it is one I continued with my kids.
Mom always made heart shaped pancakes and cherry tarts. I am not good at making heart shaped pancakes so I bought a heart waffle maker and my kids don't like cherry so we make little cheesecake with strawberry topping.
The table was always decorated and she would put treats and a card from her. Sometimes she would include a little gift.
This year Hannah was gearing up early for Valentines. She would tell Bailey and Grace all about how exciting it is to wake up and find the table all decorated and breakfast cooking.
I had been buying paper plates, candy and stuff in advance a little at a time so I would be prepared.
Well this past week was pretty awful. I had a virus on top of being nauseous. I didn't get out of bed for days.
The night before Valentines I told Tony there was no way in the world I could go to the store to get the special food I needed nor did I think I could cook. He decided this year we would just have to change it up a little bit.
So on Valentines day we took the kids out to breakfast. I don't think we had all eaten out in months and months. I actually woke up feeling better and went with them. I even ate food for the first time in days and it felt so GOOD!
It was really nice but Hannah was SO disappointed. She said it just wasn't Valentines day for her. I felt like crap. Yeah, Mother of the year here. I think the thing that bugs me most about being preggo is the fact that it is so hard on everyone. The whole family is impacted and has to sacrifice. I feel so guilty.
So after breakfast and actually eating I had Tony drop the kids off at home and he ran me to the store. I picked up the rest of their Valentines gifts and then went to Papa Murphy's. They had heart shaped pizzas so I bought two of them. When we got home I had all the younger ones help me decorate
the table and kitchen and then they helped make cupcakes.(much quicker and easier than the cheesecakes!) Later we made pizzas. I was relieved. The kids were thrilled and Hannah felt like her Valentines day was salvaged! I didn't have to really do hardly any cooking yet they didn't feel jipped.
It's interesting how important traditions are to us. The kids just didn't feel like it was that special day till they saw that table decorated. Once It was done I sat back looking and it reminded me of how important those traditions were to me too growing up and I was grateful for them. They just seem to have a way of making you feel closer to your family and as you grow older and move away it helps you feel connected even when you are far apart!



I was grateful I was feeling so much better and was able to do it. The day was wonderful and I loved watching the excitement of the girls as they helped decorate and opened their gifts.

Tony was so sweet and wonderful

His only objective of the day was to make it special for me. Whatever I wanted he was willing to do to get it.
He was kinda short changed this year since I never made it to the store to pick him up something. I guess I'll have to make it up to him another time.
Tony~Thanks for everything honey! I DO notice everything you are having to do. Even if I don't say it! I love and appreciate you!

So, another Valentines day success!
I feel so relieved that I was able to pull that one off!

I hope you all had a wonderful one too!

Just Remember You're Not In This Alone.

I know it is probably irritating to read all the crap about me being sick, but hey~it is my journal too and I want to remember the good along with the bad.So I put it all down.



You know how sometimes people step up and seem to be there right when you need them? I have felt that way this past week. My prayers being answered right before my eyes.
My sweet friend Atalie has offered time and time again to take the kids for me. She now picks Bailey up everyday for preschool so I don't have to drive. The sweetest things she does? She tells me every time she sees me "just remember, you're not in this alone!" Today when I phoned her to let her know Bailey didn't need a ride today she said those words again and I knew it was true!
The past few days have been ugly. I have some kind of virus and it is not good. On Tuesday Kiran and another sister from the ward brought over dinner and Kiran let me know she was taking the kids the next day.Kiran came and picked up Grace and Ethan at 8 am.Can you say HUGE blessing? When she got here I knew I was in trouble. Fever. Chills. uncontrollable vomiting again. Ugh. So Bailey was sick so she stayed in bed with me and we went back to sleep. I slept until 11:45 when she brought them back. Ethan was so tired I put him to bed for a nap and the girls crawled into bed with me to watch cartoons. They didn't make a peep and I was able to sleep until my older ones got home from school. I stayed in bed the whole day and most of Thurs too.
By 4:30 today I checked my weight and key tones and had lost another 2 lbs and my key tones were +80. Not good. I knew if I got up I wouldn't stop puking so I lay on the couch worried. Tony had been at work since 4 am and the older ones were complaining that there was no food to cook.I knew I was on the edge and couldn't cook.Then the phone rang and it was a sweet sister from the ward. She just wanted to let me know she was bringing dinner by and would it be OK if she were here in a half hour.
Now I'm crying like a baby as I am writing this cause this past week people have been so kind. Doing laundry, meals, helping with the kids. And I didn't have to ask. In fact I didn't tell anyone what a hard time I was having. They just showed up. Umm can you say prayer works?
So Atalie, I would have to say I agree, I am not in this alone! Thanks to people like you and my Heavenly Father.
And for everyone who has done so much Thank you, Thank you!

Is it Nature Or Nurture? I Don't Know, I Am Just Glad They are Mine!

Have you ever heard those debates? What makes a boy a boy or a girl a girl? I always thought it was both. However with Ethan I am thinking maybe they are just born that way! He shocks me right now with how "Boyish" he is! I don't remember Zachary being like this. This kid is freakishly rough and tumbly!
When he is angry what does he do? Head butt. You, the floor, the couch, whatever he can as hard as he can and for as much as he can get away with before he is stopped or practically head injured. And his voice is so dang raspy. And he climbs. Everywhere. Like a freakin monkey! I am contemplating tying him up at night so he can't get out of that crib! And I don't know how to keep him out of sinks and toilets! Let me tell you a kid in a toilet when you are queesy..not a good combo!
One of my favorite things he does? He tries to take on Zach. All the time. It's like he is challenging him! He jumps on him, yells at him, tells him to shut up for no reason ( I know it's not so nice but sometimes it is kinda funny!) He likes to wrestle him. He just loves, loves to mix it up with him.One of my least favorite things he does? Repeats my swear words! Nice!
I find myself amazed watching him lately thinking dang he is so different from these girls. He is already bigger than Grace and he weighs only 3 lbs less than Bailey!If he gets hurt, usually he say ow! and rubs the spot he hurt and then is off again. And he only likes to snuggle on his terms. He will be playing and running full speed and then stop come over give me a hug or kiss then is off again!
I know I say this all the time but I am always amazed at how much I enjoy the differences in each of my kids. I love the unique little spirit each one possess. And I am having so much fun watching this little guy as he learns new things and stretches his wings!
I have just been so conscious of how much he is changing lately and have enjoyed it.

Today I had a Dr appt again and before I left Ethan was doing crazy little tricks to make me laugh.once I would laugh he would put his hand to his forehead and cackle like it was the funniest thing he had ever done. He was just being crazy. I left with a smile and thought of him throughout the appt. I had another sonogram today and The baby didn't like it and was doing somersaults to get away from the pressure they were putting on me. I was amazed that at such a early stage I could see the little hands and feet and could see the fingers opening and closing.I didn't realize they could move like that at such a early stage and it was kind of amazing to me to watch it. I had this feeling of gratitude come over me and I thought of my little guy Ethan at home and the others and thought of how unique each one is and what a blessing they are. I had this feeling of kind of excitement thinking I can't wait to get to know this little one too. It was a strange moment. Almost like a acceptance that this lil one will be special too. I think I finally felt grateful for this one to be joining our family.It was a good kind of change of heart.
Not sure if this makes sense and I'm not sure if I even expressed the jumbled up thoughts in my head but I just feel a need to show a little gratitude.Maybe there is a greater plan in store for us and my Heavenly Father knows what is best.Plus, we ARE promised we will not be given more than we can handle right? So maybe baby #7 isn't a going to be the death of me after all!
Besides, I have my mantra...Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.Man kids movies are really deep sometimes!

I'm So Proud!

As I have been posting and catching up on reading blogs I had my play list playing in the background. The kids are dancing to it and having fun.
Bailey walks up to me and gets right in my face all serious like and tells me "mom I finally know what I am going to be when I grow up!" Wow she is so smart! Already knows what she wants to be!
What is it I ask? She replies "A Pussycat Doll"
I'm so proud!

Is Relief In Sight???

Man I hope so. Stick a fork in me. I think I am done! Cooked!

After my Dr appt last week things kinda went downhill. Couldn't stop puking. Went to the ER on Wed night and had IVs and meds. Felt better for about half of a day.

Then it got ugly. I couldn't stop puking at all. Non stop. It got so I couldn't even stand without getting dizzy and feeling like I was going down.

Sunday night I finally called the Dr and they told me to go to the ER again but I couldn't stand the thought. Hours of waiting and smelling all the smells in the room. So I tried waiting till Monday and headed into my Dr's office.

They weighed me and I had lost 8 lbs in 6 days and was a wreck. They sent me to the ER right then. The ER started IV's and took labs. The labs showed I was in a bit of trouble so they admitted me to the hospital for a few days.

It was actually kind of nice. They kept me drugged up real good and for the first time in weeks I actually felt better! I couldn't eat anything still but I was feeling OK. And I had the nicest charge nurse the first night. She came into my room at night when she started her shift and sat on my bed. She asked me if I was LDS (was it in my charts?) and I told her I was. She told me she was the relief society president in her ward and if I were in her ward she would make sure that they cared for me and helped me so that it would be easier. She said she wanted to get my relief society pres name and number and said she thought it would be nice to call her and explain that I really need help. She made me weepy. She totally got how dang hard this is. I told her I don't really think there is anything the ward can do but she was so nice telling me I needed help when I got home if I was going to be able to carry this baby.She said she thought even with the pump I was going to have a uphill battle. I have to say I just appreciated the compassion. I felt so exhausted emotionally and physically and It was nice to have someone understand that I am having a hard time.

Fortunately my DR said she wouldn't let me go home until I had some kind of home care in place. So the hospital went to work getting my insurance to approve the pump. The insurance said they would and assigned me a nurse to follow my care. That night the hospital told me I couldn't be released because the insurance wouldn't pay the cost of the pump. I freaked. The hospital was trying to set up critical care at home that would give me IVs nonstop until I delivered.Ummm..so not going to happen. I called the nurse the insurance assigned to me and was hysterical and explained I have 6 kids at home and being on IVs for the next 6 months is not a option. It is no quality of life. I also pointed out that it put me at risk for infection .So I told her I wanted the names of everyone refusing to pay what Matria charged so that I could hold the insurance liable if anything should happen to me physically or mentally.

She told me she would look into it and magically the next day they approved the pump!

So after three days I finally got to go home. Matria came out yesterday and set up the pump and I am good to go. The DR ordered IVs five days a week, but I have declined. Who can function like that? Dang!

Today I had a phone call from my Visiting teacher and she is a nurse. I am not sure even what to say to her. She seems to think that since I have the pump I am like my old self. When I explained it keeps me out of the hospital but I am sick all day long still she kinda blew me off. told me I should be just fine now so she was going to call her companion to schedule a time to come over. I don't want people over when I feel like this. I still puke. I still feel sucky. I'm not sure how to explain to her that it is not all roses. I always feel like I come off as a bitch to my VT when I don't want them over if I am having a hard time. I HATE having them tell me how I should feel when I am pregnant.

Have I mentioned how much I hate being pregnant? Oh.. and I had someone tell me my attitude was all wrong~ It was appalling. So..I would just say I do not feel this baby is not a mistake. It may not have been planned but it is not a mistake. I love every single one of my kids and feel they bless my life.But. I hate being pregnant. Every single minute of it sucks. And I am a baby and a whiner. A big complainer. And I will be until the day I deliver. If I bother you, just stay away. I get over it. In about six months....

And I do feel a little better!Good news???? the pump. Maybe relief IS in sight!

Forgive Me While I Whine! Again...

I think I'm a bit over the edge today. Kind of on the hysterical side. With my medication I am queasy 24/7 but only puke maybe 4-6 times a day. But I ran out of medication and am puking ALL day long and into the night. If I move I puke.
Went to the Dr today and puked 4 times while there. I had had it! I am over it and I have a long long way to go. Ughh.
So I did what I do best and broke down sobbing. nice! Tony kept telling me to pull it together. Not gonna happen.
So the Dr told me insurance is hesitant to pay for the meds. That they want me doing other stuff first before giving me the medicine that works. You know cause after 6 other pregnancies...I guess I don't know what I am talking about. Maybe happy thoughts and crackers will work if I will it too.
I don't want to go months and months without being able to function. I told the DR I can't live like this. She asked if I felt like harming myself. umm no, but maybe harming my husband!
So, my only option is going next week and if I lost some weight they might be able to justify to the insurance to pay. And if I agree to the IVs they can try to get me on the pump.Sheesh whatever it takes just give me my damn drugs ya know? So...I am not going to fight the puking this week. If I feel sick I am not even going to make the effort to get food in. And hopefully by next week I can get some drugs so I can sit up, maybe get out of bed and if lucky, shower. Such high ambitions.
Oh...and after talking with insurance tonight they decided they would pay for 12 pills. But I would have a copay. My portion?? $465. right. totally do-able.
now excuse me while I go puke and cry a little!

I Have My Ways!!

~Of getting even that is...

My teens love to torture me! They do it daily. Especially when we are in the car and I have no way of escaping.
Sometimes they will crank the radio up full blast, roll down the window and holler at people dancing and screaming. I get so irritated and yell at them and turn the music down. Often I'm told "Chill baby girl...it's all good"
Well, today I had the opportunity to get even!
As I was pulling up to pick a mouthy teen at school Lady Gaga came on the radio (who doesn't love Lady Gaga?) So I turned the radio up full blast, rolled down all the windows and slowly rolled up dancing my butt of in the car! All of mouthy teens friends mouths dropped open in shock then they started cracking up. Mouthy teen got in the car and asked "what the crap was that?"
My reply? "Chill~it's all good baby girl!"

Happy Birthday Chella Labella!

Saturday my wild child,Gracie turned 3!

She chose to go to Chuckie Cheese of course. Great place to torture the parents and have a good time. Mission accomplished!

She was a kick in the pants all day long. She told everyone Happy Birthday to you or she'd say YOU may not go with me to Chuckie Cheese. She was super nice to some and not so nice to others. You know...typical Grace!

My favorite part of the day was watching her open her presents. She was DELIGHTED with each and every present she received. She'd laugh and tell me she really loved it.

Do you ever worry you didn't get just the right present or buy enough of them? I always do for some reason but I couldn't have done better in her mind and it was great! She was so appreciative of everything.

The kids played for awhile and we ate pizza that tasted like cardboard! Fortunately for me I didn't care if tasted crappy since everything I eat makes me sick! I guess Chuckie Cheese isn't successful because of the delicious pizza it sells!

After Up Chuckie we headed over to Toys R Us and let Grace pick out a toy. She chose Fairy wings that play music. She is a odd duck that one!

I felt like crap by the time we got home so we saved the cake and ice cream for Sunday night's dinner with the missionaries.

We lit the candles and sang Happy Birthday to her but I couldn't get a picture of her blowing out the candles since the second we lit them she blew them out before I could take the picture.

It was a fun birthday for her and all the funny little things she did throughout made me smile and realize how grateful I am that this sweet, funny little girl is a part of my family. She is without question my hardest kid and yet she is also the most entertaining, and fun. I love, love her personality. Some days more than others of course!

Happy Birthday my little Chella Labella! I hope you had as good of a day as me!

Dig Deep!

I knew that I wanted to post my word for the year and express my thoughts but some things have happened that have been challenging and I feel like I don't want to post since I feel so crappy! But since I have had some questions I thought what the heck I'll explain!

In Relief Society a few weeks ago the lesson was Thomas Monson's conference address finding joy in the journey. I loved that talk and found myself touched by it all over again in church that Sunday. It was a talk that really, really pertained to me.There was a quote read that I thought Ahah!
It goes..“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”
I thought OK. I need to work on this. It is not something I am very good at. So I decided that my word for the year 2009 was going to be Joy. Finding Joy In My Journey.

I thought this is my year for change. I want to exercise at the gym regularly. It would help me chill and lose some weight. That's good. I wanted to eat better, get more sleep and really focus feeling good so that I would be able to be a better parent, person etc. I had some big plans here. Seriously! I thought life was going to get much easier this year!
But sometimes life (and God?) has a sense of humor. And~Apparently I don't.

See. I have been vigilant. Birth control Nazi here.With TWO different kinds. So of course it would be impossible for me to get pregnant right???? WRONG!!! Apparently my husband has mutant sperm. Sick!HOW THE FREAK CAN THIS HAPPEN?
I am still in shock. Frustrated. I am downright bitchy. Not sure if I can really do this again. Don't really want to either. How sad is that?I love my lil ones so much. It's just the thought of the torture of being pregnant. I worry I don't have it in me to deal with this again. Puking days are here again.

I guess my resolutions for 2009 are going to have to wait awhile. Now the focus is just survive the journey right? That's really how I feel.
So as you can see my word of the year has now become a challenge for me. I am going to have to really dig deep here. Maybe put some of that bitchiness aside. Wish me luck folks. I think I am going to have a bit of a uphill battle here.
However, there is one more part of the talk that Pres Monson gave that pushes me forward and gives me a little comfort,advice, and perspective.
"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."

He is so fantastic. And I need to be a little better. So I will have myself a little pity party and then try to get on and find Joy in the Journey. Are you laughing yet?

52 Blessings Project~Week 52!!!!

Dang I have been sick, so I have neglected my blogging a bit and am behind. So here is my last blessing of 2008. just a little late!
Now I know this is my last blessing of 2008. It should be something poetic.My last week to post something great. Something really spiritual, something big right? Whatever. However, I keep coming back to the same thing! And for me it IS big!
So This Week I am Grateful For~ An Easier Journey!
This has come to me at different times and a little at a time. I have had a realization lately.When I first had Ethan I was cooked. Done! I had a hard time. 3 under 3. 3 In diapers. 3 in my bed. 3 demanding my undivided attention! It was hard. At times it downright sucked. I'd have all three of them crying at once and then I'd find myself crying too! I am not super together. NOT Super patient. If I were a dog I think I'd be a poodle. Nervous and shaky and yippy!
About four months ago things had been really hairy. Grace was having melt down after meltdown all day long! She and Bailey would fight non stop. The older ones took being a mouthy teenager to a whole new level. I felt as if I was getting it from every angle. I was pretty dang discouraged! I was taken to the very edge and then... BAM!Change! A little relief!

Bailey was potty trained, but Grace being Grace had to resist! She does Everything on her terms. Recently though she has decided she is done being in diapers. Woke up one day and said "no I wear panties, not diapers!"Well...OK! From 3 in diapers to 1! Making progress here...
And she and Bailey have decided being friends is better than fighting. They play so nice together. I love hearing Grace say "Bailey you are my best friend." To which Bailey will say "yeah Grace we love each other" Much nicer than the carnage that we had around here a few months ago.

Ethan has been taking naps consistently every day and I am really liking that! Mouthy teens and pre teen are off again on again a challenge but I have had some really nice times with them lately and it helps me see they will eventually come out of the fog. Patience dear, patience.

So, nothing huge, of great insight just the knowledge that things do get easier eventually and for that I am very grateful!