Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dig Deep!

I knew that I wanted to post my word for the year and express my thoughts but some things have happened that have been challenging and I feel like I don't want to post since I feel so crappy! But since I have had some questions I thought what the heck I'll explain!

In Relief Society a few weeks ago the lesson was Thomas Monson's conference address finding joy in the journey. I loved that talk and found myself touched by it all over again in church that Sunday. It was a talk that really, really pertained to me.There was a quote read that I thought Ahah!
It goes..“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”
I thought OK. I need to work on this. It is not something I am very good at. So I decided that my word for the year 2009 was going to be Joy. Finding Joy In My Journey.

I thought this is my year for change. I want to exercise at the gym regularly. It would help me chill and lose some weight. That's good. I wanted to eat better, get more sleep and really focus feeling good so that I would be able to be a better parent, person etc. I had some big plans here. Seriously! I thought life was going to get much easier this year!
But sometimes life (and God?) has a sense of humor. And~Apparently I don't.

See. I have been vigilant. Birth control Nazi here.With TWO different kinds. So of course it would be impossible for me to get pregnant right???? WRONG!!! Apparently my husband has mutant sperm. Sick!HOW THE FREAK CAN THIS HAPPEN?
I am still in shock. Frustrated. I am downright bitchy. Not sure if I can really do this again. Don't really want to either. How sad is that?I love my lil ones so much. It's just the thought of the torture of being pregnant. I worry I don't have it in me to deal with this again. Puking days are here again.

I guess my resolutions for 2009 are going to have to wait awhile. Now the focus is just survive the journey right? That's really how I feel.
So as you can see my word of the year has now become a challenge for me. I am going to have to really dig deep here. Maybe put some of that bitchiness aside. Wish me luck folks. I think I am going to have a bit of a uphill battle here.
However, there is one more part of the talk that Pres Monson gave that pushes me forward and gives me a little comfort,advice, and perspective.
"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."

He is so fantastic. And I need to be a little better. So I will have myself a little pity party and then try to get on and find Joy in the Journey. Are you laughing yet?


Lynda said...

Oh my gosh, Laurie. God must think you are the strongest, most wonderful mother on earth to give you one more baby.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that this one is the easiest pregnancy ever with no morning sickness!
I love you and know you will persevere. But you have to admit, God's sense of humor never falters. You make all these plans to exercise and lose weight and such, and WHAM! If I remember correctly, every time your mom decided to diet, she got pregnant again also.
Perhaps we can all use the laugh? Well, once the pity party is done. Congratulations, and I'm sorry. But you know the baby will be well loved...
Aunt Lynda

PS... if you start now, perhaps Ethan can be potty trained by the time the new baby comes... he can sit on a potty chair while you have your head in the toilet...

Mike, Suzann and Family said...

Heavenly Father would not give you this challenge if he didn't think you could handle it. We ALL know you can do it. You have such wonderful children and it is because of the great mother that you are. You have more strength than what you think you do. We are all here for you. You can call me anytime to vent or just to "bitch"! I have great listening ears! :) We love you very much!

Ginger said...

It is hard to believe this is actually happening. But I know it will be alright. This may be your greatest blessing. I know there is an eternal plan and this new child is part of it. You will be just fine and we are all praying that this will be your easiest pregnacy. You have a great support group out here that loves you.

Shelli said...

Ah, sweetie, I feel for you! I think you're on the right track, though, finding strength and comfort in the words of the prophet. I did a lesson on that talk, too, and one of my favorite quotes was the scripture that says "Give thanks in ALL things." We had a great discussion on how wonderful it is to give thanks and find beauty in our trials. Don't try to be superwoman -- let your family take care of you, and do what you need to survive. Remember, babies are a blessing -- and remember how great our family reunion was with all those people having fun, and it will show you that even greater blessings are to come once you get through the hard work in the trenches.

You're in our prayers!!!

RhondaLue said...

Oh as one momma to a slew of kids to another...I want to reach out and hug you. I truly know the challenges of having so many kids and all of LIFE getting in the way on top of it.

All I can say is #1..this is the perfect time to eat a little better, get a little more sleep, and do some walking on the treadmill (as long as you aren't crazy about it). Being pregnant isn't a reason to let all your personal goals fall by the wayside. I started walking when I got pregnant with my 5th and walked through the whole darn pregnancy (it was a great stress reliever too and made my brain dump those feel-good hormones). I have to admit it was the EASIEST labor ever...and I don't have easy labors in general. I snapped back faster (not my stomach, it will never snap back w/o the help of a surgeon) but my feeling normal again is what I mean.

Sorry to write a book in your comment section but I'm totally feelin' ya today. Take it easy and keep trying to find the joy in the journey and you'll b ok. It won't be easy but you'll make it.

Oh and one more thing in case this wasn't long enough. Someone elses blog had a recipe for 2009 list. One of the things they say is to ask yourself each day "what is my purpose today?" I think it's a great way to set mini daily goals and feel accomplished (even if it's "I'm gonna rest and grow this baby some finger buds today") it really helps to stay more focused when we have so many daily distractions. Good luck and keep blogging, even if you feel bad. It's good to vent.
The end. :)

Cheffie-Mom said...

WOW!! I know you are surprised and a bit frustrated, but babies are such a blessings. Hugs.

Crazymamaof6 said...

that BITES! hugs! really i'm way excited for you! a new baby!so fun! i wish it was me. really. SO hang in there. you will survive this.
be strong!
breath! in hee hee hee! WHOo WHOo WHOO!
in and out! just keep swimming! you can do this!

Britta said...

Congrats! I only have three kids and I think I'd be a little shell shocked if I found out I was preg. Guess my husband isn't a mutant carrier :). You are amazing- I know you can do it and it will be difficult....but amazing.Call me if you need anything. Hopefully you won't get sick as bad.....

KLS said...

Before I read your latest blog, I glanced to the side to read the first quote by Desmond Tutu "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you as you are to them." You know how sometimes kids feel like the kids with the most gifts for Christmas or a Birthday must be loved more? Well, God must really love you. You are winning in the gift department my friend :-) You will survive. You have to, because you are my hero! Plus, think about all the great blogs to follow. I don't think I will ever get to experience motherhood, so I get to live it through your blogs. I love you and you are in my prayers. Also, think about Melinda Lemon with her Quads for inspiration. You can do this.

Juli said...

Lauri I have been crying for you! I know how hard being pregnant is for you. You are my hero! You will be in my prayers through the entire pregnancy. I wish I could do it for you. I love you!!!

Weston Family said...

Hang in there!

Lori said...

Wow! Congrats, and yes, ditto on the comments, you really can do this! I wish you all the best with your pregnancy, and lots of JOY to you on your journey!!


Hopefully, this will be your best one yet! Even though you didn't seek this out, the Lord loves you for being willing to do this. I don't know if you are ready to hear this yet, but here is a great quote from Pres. Ezra Taft Benson:

“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace.”

goingsome said...

Oh congrats. You are going to get through this and 10 months, yes, 10, everyone says 9 months, but we all know it is 10 long months.

It seems like a long time, but before you know it it will be a blurb in the past.

Say your prays and you will pull though this.

Love the post. It inspired me and made me think. Thanks.

Sorry for the leave of absense on my blog, I will be back at it soon. Just had to take a break and breath. AHHH. All is good. We'll talk soon. I have been thinking about you. Kisses!!!!!!

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