I knew that I wanted to post my word for the year and express my thoughts but some things have happened that have been challenging and I feel like I don't want to post since I feel so crappy! But since I have had some questions I thought what the heck I'll explain!
In Relief Society a few weeks ago the lesson was Thomas Monson's conference address finding joy in the journey. I loved that talk and found myself touched by it all over again in church that Sunday. It was a talk that really, really pertained to me.There was a quote read that I thought Ahah!
It goes..“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”
I thought OK. I need to work on this. It is not something I am very good at. So I decided that my word for the year 2009 was going to be Joy. Finding Joy In My Journey.
I thought this is my year for change. I want to exercise at the gym regularly. It would help me chill and lose some weight. That's good. I wanted to eat better, get more sleep and really focus feeling good so that I would be able to be a better parent, person etc. I had some big plans here. Seriously! I thought life was going to get much easier this year!
But sometimes life (and God?) has a sense of humor. And~Apparently I don't.
See. I have been vigilant. Birth control Nazi here.With TWO different kinds. So of course it would be impossible for me to get pregnant right???? WRONG!!! Apparently my husband has mutant sperm. Sick!HOW THE FREAK CAN THIS HAPPEN?
I am still in shock. Frustrated. I am downright bitchy. Not sure if I can really do this again. Don't really want to either. How sad is that?I love my lil ones so much. It's just the thought of the torture of being pregnant. I worry I don't have it in me to deal with this again. Puking days are here again.
I guess my resolutions for 2009 are going to have to wait awhile. Now the focus is just survive the journey right? That's really how I feel.
So as you can see my word of the year has now become a challenge for me. I am going to have to really dig deep here. Maybe put some of that bitchiness aside. Wish me luck folks. I think I am going to have a bit of a uphill battle here.
However, there is one more part of the talk that Pres Monson gave that pushes me forward and gives me a little comfort,advice, and perspective.
"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."
He is so fantastic. And I need to be a little better. So I will have myself a little pity party and then try to get on and find Joy in the Journey. Are you laughing yet?