Summertime Swimming

We have been spending everyday in the pool. Sometimes for hours. And miss Bailey loves taunting Ethan and Grace with the fact that she can swim without floaties and they can't!

But the other day it pissed Ethan off this time. So he ripped his floatie swimesuit off and ran and jumped into the pool. Then he kinda sank. And just as I was getting ready to grab him he made his way to the surface. And got out of the pool and did it again. And again. And again. Till instead of sinking he was swimming! He looked straight at Bailey and said HA!! I AM BIG TOO!

Woohoo Ethan! Yes you are!

Grace then had to follow cause she wasn't about to be the only one if a floatie! So I guess the fighting finally paid off cause my kids can now swim! And I didn't have to pay anyone to teach them either! HA!

Blog Posts From The Edge!

Remember that movie Postcards from the edge? That's a little how I am feeling! So close to the edge and it could go either way. It's been a weird, wild ride and I am thinking it's time to get off this roller coaster!

This pregnancy sucked. One of the worst. Hyperemesis. The Zofran pump, Trips to the hospital for IVs, Hospital stay, Placental abruptions, Bed rest,Polyhydramnios, Placental lake, biweekly NST's,biweekly bio physical profiles. Worrying about baby and what her health would be, house a mess, me a mess and the grand finale...a horrific labor. 23 hours! Sheesh!

And then I had her. This beautiful, perfect 5 lb 13 oz. sweetheart. Adelynn Marie Vidal. She is a angel. So good. What a relief to find that nothing is wrong with her. Nothing. What a blessing.

I am having a bit of hard time bouncing back, but it has only been three weeks and does seem to be getting better so I am hopeful. Postpartum depression nails me every time!

She had jaundice so we were having to get her blood tested daily. That finally resolved itself. And she stopped nursing. Completely for about a week so that involved so much time trying to get her to eat then feeding her a bottle then pumping. I was so tired just from feeding her. But with a nipple shield she is now nursing again.

Then I thought we were getting on track and I had this killer, I mean killer breast infection! What the heck? It kicked my trash. Felt like I was dying. And I found myself sitting in the shower, crying and praying asking are you kidding me? You REALLY thought I could handle another one? Is this your sense of humor? I think it felt a little like rock bottom. Sick, overwhelmed, things not improving but getting worse and feeling like a total sucky mom.

And yet today is another day. It feels much more hopeful. And instead of asking my Heavenly Father what the heck I find myself thanking him.Somehow things are getting better. It's a day by day thing.

My parents ordered me a bunch of Dream Dinners. And they sent some money for extra help around the house. I think they totally saved me!On Friday I had the cleaning girls here. And I was feeling better. Got a meal made early and sat down to a clean house, nice meal and all my little ones around me. And it felt a little like heaven. I thought you know when I have it together it is wonderful. Being a mom is what makes me happiest. Yes, crazy, but also so happy. It is who I am supposed to be.

Even my little Ethan who has been having such a hard time seemed to mellow that night! He helped me feed the baby, and when I got the camera out to take a picture of her he told me "Take a picture of me, take a picture of me! Cheese!" He NEVER lets me get a good picture of him. Never! So I even got this fabulous photo of my fun little guy.

So folks, even though I am on the edge and many, many times it felt like I was going over it, today I have faith that I will make it! Today it feels like I am actually enjoying the view at the edge!

Happy Birthday Ethan!!!

Ethan James,

My big old boy. Where did the time go? With you it always flies by. You keep me so busy I don't really have time to sit back and reflect too much!

This past year has been a year of huge changes for you. Mostly you went from being this really mellow, easy going little guy into being a wild, funny, crazy kid!

When Zachary was 2 he was pretty mellow. Very easy. But I have to say you~ Well, you shock me! I didn't realize a kid could be so BOY! So busy! So into EVERYTHING!

I get a chuckle when people offer to watch you and when they drop you off they exclaim~ "Wow! He is alot of work isn't he?" Of course they always tell me you weren't bad or anything, just busy. Into everything! And yes you really are! It seems as if you never stop. You have two speeds. Full speed and off. No in between.

This year you have developed a love for whacking things. Cats, sisters, bushes, your dad. Whatever you can hit with a stick the better. When your dad bought you a light saber last month I thought we were in deep, deep trouble. Fortunately the damage has been minimal and you love that thing!

You love being outside and exploring. You love finding bugs and parts of birds and lizards that the cats have killed. Yuck! We had a pretty hairy week there when you thought it was hilarious to throw half eaten lizard bodies or a bird's foot on me. My screaming cracked you up and you did it over and over again! I thought I was going to have a heart attack over it.

You love cars, and trucks, dinosaurs, you dad,pizza and swimming. Your favorite movie is Madagascar 2 and you could watch it everyday, several times a day.

Lately you have been walking all around the house singing the song Moto Moto the hippo sings...I like em big..I like em chunky. Hmm. Maybe that's why you love me so much? Anyhow, your older brother and sister actually downloaded the song onto their ipods so they could play it for you over and over again and it delights you every time!

Your brothers and sisters love you so much as you do them!

Your dad loves that stupid movie as much as you do and the two of you often watch it together sometimes two times in a row.Your daddy is your best friend and you love hanging out with him. He gets up early every Saturday morning and the two of you hang out. Go to the store together, tinker around the yard, and watch Star Wars Clone Wars. It is kind of funny and yet very sweet that during the week you are my little buddy following me around but on Saturday it is all about dad. I could be chopped liver for all you notice me.

I am shocked at how much bigger you are than your sisters. You outweigh them and are in bigger sizes of clothes than them. You are a rock solid, a chunk and I love it. I am always gobbling up those fat cheeks!

You bring so much fun and love into this family and I simply can't imagine not having you a part of it!

I love, love, love you and can't wait to see what the next year brings! Happy Birthday big guy!!!

Here are some things your family loves about you~

Dad~You're chunky! You say funny things. You are so snuggly. I love the way you look at me sideways when you are being tricky!

Zach~ I love how energetic he is. He is a man's man. He fits in with the boys.

Rachelle~ How cute and rambunctious he is

Hannah~ I love how wild, crazy and fun he is yet he is also snuggly

Bailey~How he lets go of balloons so easily. I love him coloring with me.

Grace~ He plays with me.

How Do We Keep Them Safe?

It seems like some days I am on it. With the kids, house, It seems like everything just goes right. And then there are those days from hell. I can't seem to keep on top of it. Yesterday was SO one of those days! Want to know how it began? When Hannah left for school I dead bolted the front door. And then went back into my room where the little ones were. Bailey woke up and was crying about her head hurting and her neck hurting. I didn't even think twice when Ethan got out of bed and went into the other room. I was trying to comfort Bailey. But then I heard Hannah screaming my name a few minutes later. Apparently Ethan now knows how to unlock the dead bolt. And he escaped. And walked. All the way to the park! The kids at the bus stop pointed out the little boy who was climbing on the slide and Hannah freaked! She ran him home and gave me the surprise! What the crap? And so the day began.... Followed with him spraying tilex all over himself and the floor. Which of course them smell makes me puke and puke and puke. And can you say scary all over again? Nice, first escaping to the park, next getting into the chemicals. And I SWEAR I do watch him. I'm thinking I need a dog leash attached to him that I hold all day. Cause he got into the toilet too. And then after I gave him his second bath of the day I got him dressed again and then went into my room to put the movie Bolt on for the girls. And when I came out of the room guess what??? He was gone again. No where to be found. Not in the back yard. Not in the toilet. Not upstairs. So I am RUNNING to the park. (ouch) and he ends up not being there! I go home crying hysterically and am ready to call 911 when he comes strolling out of the garage with no diaper on (he likes to take it off and wipe poop on me or the walls as soon as he craps his diaper!) Not sure where he was. Tony thinks maybe he was hiding behind the trash cans. He also likes to open the freezer and sit in it. Or climb up and get the salt out to dump on the counters or climb up on top of the bunk beds and jump like superman. Or turn on the water in the back yard so he can make mud. He loves playing in the mud.He is crazy. Wild crazy unlike any kid I have ever had. Some days I am running and running just trying to keep him out of trouble and safe! Kids and especially this one can be exhausting! They run me ragged. And I worry about them. Can I keep them safe? Physically? Spiritually?It's a balancing act and some days it feels like I am failing miserably. I wonder why I can't be more on top of it. Do a better job. Protect them more.
And it's not just my lil ones. It's the bigger ones too. They don't always make the best choices. And it makes me feel like I am failing miserably.I can't seem to protect them.
I have been crazy worried about Zach. He has a girlfriend that I am not wild about. She texts him pictures of herself in skimpy bikinis, and her language is bad and she is ALL over him. I am sure she is a nice girl, she just doesn't have the same standards as we do. And he is really into her. They have been going out for several months and my worries have only increased. He has seemed to pull away from family and church and I feel like I am losing him somehow. Like Ethan I am terrified I am not able to keep him safe.
So I have come to the conclusion at this point the only thing I can do is to simply get down on my knees and beg for help. And hope for some tender mercy. And just when I am at the end of my rope like I was yesterday, I sometimes find that mercy and a little relief.
Like when I picked up my teens after school yesterday. They asked how my day was and how I was feeling. I told them about Ethan's adventures and they laughed and laughed. Then Zach asked me if it would be OK if he went to the Easter pageant at the temple with his friend Jordan and this girl Lauren. (NOT the girlfriend!)Now Lauren is a girl from church that he has had a crush on forever. And they have been good friends. She went on the trek with him last year and he told me how neat it was to talk to her about the feelings he felt on the trek and how it was such a spiritual experience. I think she is the first person who has been able to touch his heart on that level.She is proud of her religion and not afraid to voice it.The past few weeks he and Lauren have been hanging out and he is happier. And more kind to his family. And I have felt a softening in him.And yesterday as he was telling me about the pageant he said it might be fun if dad and I come with them. And then I wondered who this kid was and where did he put my kid?
And I felt my eyes well up with tears. And I felt like I am not in this alone. I felt like some of my prayers were being answered and that maybe it is not always up to me alone to protect my kids.
And somehow I didn't feel like such a crap mom anymore. And I knew I could face tomorrow better with a little more prayer and maybe some duct tape too.

Back To Square One!

Can I just say FRUSTRATING!!!!Just when I thought I was getting a grip with these lil ones..dang..back to square one!
I had gotten Ethan on a really fantastic schedule. Up at 7am, down for a nap at 11:30, down for the night between 7:30 and 8 pm. It was really working. Seriously my very first kid who was on a schedule and actually took naps!
And Grace was finally potty trained! She went almost six months completely potty trained!
And I needed these. The naps daily, one less poopy diaper to change. It was a few less things to worry about while feeling so crappy!
But when I got out of control sick and kept having to go back to the Dr's and hospital, Grace decided I was dying. She had a meltdown. Kept telling everyone I was dying. And she started wetting herself. When the home health nurse comes by to hook up the IVs and go over the info, she starts crying and will wet herself! Or she will just pee in the car. No Rhyme or reason why! Ughh! And she refuses to go back to diapers. Pulls them off. And she won't go potty when I try to get her to. She just keeps wetting herself!
And Ethan the little bugger now climbs out of his crib. He wakes up around 4:30 am and will not go back to sleep. I will put him back over and over and he just keeps climbing out! And can I say I feel so pukey at that time? I have no Patience.
And so long nap times. He climbs out! I need him to take naps! I need naps then too!
Help!!! I am tortured!
So I am now contemplating alternative methods. I am up for any suggestions too!You know like shock therapy or restraints in the bed!

Ethan Gets A "Real" Haircut!!

I just couldn't stand it anymore! Every time I looked at the hack job Tony did I had visions of kicking that man in the face! It was really something that bothered me! So, I had grandpa take him to Dell's barbershop to fix the mullet he was rockin! Dell's is the barbershop that grandpa took Zachary for his first haircut as a baby so it was kind of fun taking my next boy 15 years later to the same place!

Ethan wasn't liking the idea of a haircut until they gave him a yummy red sucker! This did the trick for awhile. He did get ornery and start to throw a fit after a while. Maybe he wasn't liking that sucker once it was too hairy, or maybe he didn't like the feel of the clippers, or maybe it was his nap time and he was cranky. Whatever it was he wasn't having it anymore and he was yelling at us until they broke out another sucker. Yellow this time! It did the trick and the haircut was a success! No more mullet, and Tony...you are forgiven at last!

When we were getting ready to leave they gave us the cutest certificate for his first haircut! I love it. They attach a lock of his hair. I was a little sad that it wasn't one of his baby curls... oh well...Time to get over it right?

Thanks Grandpa for taking Ethan for his first real haircut!! You are a brave,brave man!

Doesn't he look much better?

OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!

Those were the words I scream when Hannah told me what he did! How could he? I just might not be talking to him for a week. His marital privileges are revoked for sure!

OK, what did he do You ask?

HE CUT MY BABIES CURLS OFF!!! Seriously!

I had trimmed Ethan's hair. Just the front. Not the back curls. Just enough to get the hair out of his eyes! I told Hannah to have Tony check to see if I did OK since Ethan was trying to escape the whole time. Next thing I know, Hannah is telling me about the crime! How could he do this to my baby? My last little baby! I just wanted to keep him little for a while longer!

Anyhow, of course He is a fantastic looking baby no matter what, but he looks older now. More like a big boy and every time I look at him I am a little pissed!

Keep your fingers crossed for me that when it grows back, his curls come back!

Well here are some pictures of the damage!

Fun Lovin

Ethan was once a really snuggly baby. I mean really snuggly. But. he grew a little. and didn't want to be contained. and he became a little more independent. and just wasn't into it anymore. Bummer. My boy isn't such a baby anymore!

Yesterday though was delightful. After church he just wanted to hang out with me! he just sat on my lap all day.Doing nothing. Just snugglin! Grace of course had to get into the action. Fun for me!

Wordless Wednsday

Do Ya Think?

Tony and I had to go pick up Zach today then we ran to the store. When we got home I got a good look at Ethan and asked Hey~ How come no one changed Ethan's diaper??

Hannah said, why mom do ya think it needs to be changed? It's not bad. He isn't poopy!

So I ask ya..Do ya think he needs to be changed? Hmmm. Maybe it's just me. Crazy!

And~ Hasn't anyone taught her yet? Crack Kills!

Wordless Wednsday

Look At Those Curls!

Ethan's hair has really been growing alot lately.It's kind of wild, but I can't bring myself to give it a trim! Look at those curls! I love it! He and Grace are rockin the same look!
Zach's hair was straight as a baby, so I am not sure at what point I am going to need to cut Ethan's. What do you think? Keep the hair long and preserve the curls or risk it and trim it?? What if it doesn't grow back curly?? Sad!
Oh,Hey, how do you like his Cheetos mouth? They are a new found treat for him and his fav food! Now Grace is gonna have some competition over the bag! She has actually been known to hide a bag and snack on it for days!Do you think they get that from me??

Happy Birthday Ethan!

Ethan Turns 1!
I can still remember the sinking feeling in my gut when I found out I was pregnant with Ethan.I wasn't feeling well and I decided on a whim to buy a pregnancy test. I was 99.9 percent certain I wasn't pregnant, but thought I sure feel sick like I am, so I will just check to be sure.When the stick started to turn color, I felt the blood rush out of my head. I got dizzy and had to sit immediately so I wouldn't pass out! I just couldn't believe it! I took 4 more pregnancy tests and was shocked each time I got a positive result.
Tony was thrilled we were going to have another baby. I was angry with him. I thought no way could I endure another 9 months of torture, throwing up, IVs, Medicine, Crazy hormones, etc...I called the missionaries in our ward and asked them to come over immediately. When they arrived I explained I needed a blessing...I was pregnant, and didn't think I could handle it. I was a mess.After receiving a blessing, I felt pure peace. It was a gift. I knew this baby was supposed to be ours.
Ethan came into our lives on June 9th weighing in at 7lbs, 9 oz. He was beautiful! I couldn't stop staring at him. He looked so different from my other babies. He looked so much like his daddy and I loved that!I would stare at him for hours. I couldn't put him down. I even slept with him in my bed! I felt such a feeling of gratitude for my Heavenly Father for bringing this sweet boy into my life.
That feeling has remained and has grown stronger. Ethan is such a joy to me and his daddy. To his brothers and sisters.
I think he has the sweetest personality. He cries only when he is tired, needs to be changed, or wants to be picked up.I don't know how I was blessed to have such a good baby! He is so, so good! The absolute happiest baby!
I will eternally be grateful that he is a part of our forever family! Happy Birthday my little angel!

Silly Boy

Here's my cutie patootie. He thought he was so funny when daddy put the glasses on his face.
Don'tcha just want to gobble him up?

Sick Nasty

Today was the last day of school, so to help the kids celebrate, I let them invite some friends over and we had a bunch of snack foods, wings,chips, etc. Well, the trash was full to the brim after everyone ate, and the lid wasn't closed. I came around the corner and found Ethan having a feast eating buffalo wings from the trash can! Apparently he likes wings as much as his dad and brothers!