Saturday, August 29, 2009

Blog Posts From The Edge!


Remember that movie Postcards from the edge? That's a little how I am feeling! So close to the edge and it could go either way. It's been a weird, wild ride and I am thinking it's time to get off this roller coaster!

This pregnancy sucked. One of the worst. Hyperemesis. The Zofran pump, Trips to the hospital for IVs, Hospital stay, Placental abruptions, Bed rest,Polyhydramnios, Placental lake, biweekly NST's,biweekly bio physical profiles. Worrying about baby and what her health would be, house a mess, me a mess and the grand finale...a horrific labor. 23 hours! Sheesh!



And then I had her. This beautiful, perfect 5 lb 13 oz. sweetheart. Adelynn Marie Vidal. She is a angel. So good. What a relief to find that nothing is wrong with her. Nothing. What a blessing.


I am having a bit of hard time bouncing back, but it has only been three weeks and does seem to be getting better so I am hopeful. Postpartum depression nails me every time!


She had jaundice so we were having to get her blood tested daily. That finally resolved itself. And she stopped nursing. Completely for about a week so that involved so much time trying to get her to eat then feeding her a bottle then pumping. I was so tired just from feeding her. But with a nipple shield she is now nursing again.


Then I thought we were getting on track and I had this killer, I mean killer breast infection! What the heck? It kicked my trash. Felt like I was dying. And I found myself sitting in the shower, crying and praying asking are you kidding me? You REALLY thought I could handle another one? Is this your sense of humor? I think it felt a little like rock bottom. Sick, overwhelmed, things not improving but getting worse and feeling like a total sucky mom.


And yet today is another day. It feels much more hopeful. And instead of asking my Heavenly Father what the heck I find myself thanking him.Somehow things are getting better. It's a day by day thing.

My parents ordered me a bunch of Dream Dinners. And they sent some money for extra help around the house. I think they totally saved me!On Friday I had the cleaning girls here. And I was feeling better. Got a meal made early and sat down to a clean house, nice meal and all my little ones around me. And it felt a little like heaven. I thought you know when I have it together it is wonderful. Being a mom is what makes me happiest. Yes, crazy, but also so happy. It is who I am supposed to be.


Even my little Ethan who has been having such a hard time seemed to mellow that night! He helped me feed the baby, and when I got the camera out to take a picture of her he told me "Take a picture of me, take a picture of me! Cheese!" He NEVER lets me get a good picture of him. Never! So I even got this fabulous photo of my fun little guy.
So folks, even though I am on the edge and many, many times it felt like I was going over it, today I have faith that I will make it! Today it feels like I am actually enjoying the view at the edge!

12 comments:

Jenifer said...

She is absolutely beautiful! You've really been through the wringer! I hope things keep looking up for you!

Kricket said...

She looks perfect! What a blessing! Congratulations Lauri!

Ginger said...

You will make it. Just take it slow and easy. I love the pictures. They are wonderful and that is really what it is all about.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh, she is BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations! HUGS!

Crazymamaof6 said...

OH! Lauri! she's adorable! you lucky dog. sure it's been a HELLUVA RIDE! horrible but she's an absolute doll! congrats!

hang in there. i know you sing the mantra too. Just keep swimming!

everyday.

hugs!

sounds like your folks are pure genius. sending moolah for the maids to come, and dinners! heavenly day. that does make all the difference.

Ethan is darn cute!

Lynda said...

Your new little tiny one is precious. And Ethan is a doll. Could he look just a tad like his daddy?
Sending you love, good thoughts, energy, and healthy wishes!

DANI KYNASTON said...

I know what ya mean! Sometimes, I resent those moms who seem to be everything I am not. I get so discouraged and resent myself for not handling things better. And yet, Heavenly Father still gives me the best babies! I must be doing something right. Either that or he is afraid to give me one that I can REALLY screw up!

Lori said...

Congrats! What a beautiful baby girl you got, and your kids are getting so big. Hope things continue to look up for you!

RhondaLue said...

I'll stand on the edge with ya! Not because I have a new baby...but other junk that's hard but doesn't smell good or even grin at me like your precious babe.

You have such a beautiful family and I know we have hard things happen so we can appreciate more fully the good. What an enormous blessing that through all of that you didn't have a severely premature baby (I was worried about that for you!) or have her suffer any problems.

p.s. you. are. an. inspiration.

:cassia marie: said...

ohhh she is so precious! i'm glad you both are doing well, i was worried about you. start of a new school year with little ones and a new one is overwhelming i'm sure, but you have the most amazing attitude! i don't think i would be so positive, so way to go. you are amazing lauri :) miss you guys!

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