Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My Kids Are Doomed!

Listen up all you frantic stressed mommies out there! We are in deep trouble here! Check out this headline I just found!

Stressed Mothers May Raise Fat Children:Study

So here's just a small samplin of the story:Children may be getting fat before the age of 10 because their mothers are stressed out and the youngsters seek escape by eating unhealthy comfort food, researchers say!
My poor, poor kids don't stand a chance!
Oh, OK, so NOW we know why there is a problem with national childhood obesity.Stressed mothers. But~ What are we gonna do about it? I've been rackin my brain cause I'm so worried. Ya see, I'm not sure I know of any mommies out there that aren't stressed so I am beginning to think we are doomed. But I do have a few suggestions for them. Perhaps they could make a vending machine.Prozac on Demand!(or maybe even Xanax)You know like the ones they make for kids candies? This one is for all the moms. Placed strategically like at the exit doors of grocery stores, next to the dollar bill changer at Chuckie Cheese, and any other place that our kids are prone to throw a good fit! That might ease MY stress. Also, I think we should have government sponsored spa retreats. Massage, mani's, pedi's, the works for any and all stressed moms out there. Another thing? A law should be passed that all husbands are required to put in at least 2 hours of hard labor at home a day. Just 2! We stressed mommies put in 24, so this shouldn't be such a sacrifice! It's for our kids gentlemen! Come on!

I think maybe even free super big gulps might help me a little too! And maybe a free night at a hotel of choice for a good nights sleep? Is there a way for the government to arrange for some babysitting just so that I can pee without a audience? That might help. I wonder if they can invent a shock collar for teens. you know like the ones dogs wear that shocks them when they bark? Only this one will shock our teenagers whenever they back talk or are disrespectful. They do need to be careful though. We need to make sure that with all the continuous shocks these puppies (kids)are bound to get that their brains won't be fried too much! Just a few suggestions I am thinking about sending on to my local senator. We stressed moms (and our fatties) need all the help we can get. Work with us people, this is the future of our nation we are talking about here!

Otherwise I think..

My Kids Are Doomed!


Jenifer said...

Great, something else to blame on us and make us feel guilty. I do like the government paying for the mani/pedi:)

Shelli said...

Here, here! I agree with all of the above! Especially the government sponsored spas, the enforced two hour work day for spouses, and especially the shock collar! Viva la revolucion!

goingsome said...

I like the idea of a governement sponsored hotel night. I would love to be able to pee in private. How about a shower in private, too, while we are at it. The mani and pedi are great too, since I can never seem to get one done either. UGH! The joys of motherhood.

tammy said...

Fabulous ideas! Can we elect you president?

Cute fall layout!

Cheffie-Mom said...

You are too funny! Loved the one about "peeing without an audience". LOL!

Cara said...

you are too funny! I like the free big gulps. however McDonalds has $1 any size drinks and they have a drive thru - that's helpful!

Kendra said...

I was dying when I read this. I almost jumped out of my seat to cheer! Do you plan on running for office? You would have my vote for sure. I could deffinately do the spa thing, shock collars (my 4 year old has quite a mouth on her already and soap doesn't work...), and basically everything you said.

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