I Should Have Done This Sooner!

Well I did it..I made the switch.Yesterday was my first Dr appt with the new Dr's group and can I just say

I LOVE THEM!!! Seriously I was in tears cause I was so relieved! I can't get over how kind the Dr I saw was. And she agrees with me that I need to be induced. She was explaining how the two hospitals now have a strict policy that no one is to be induced before 39 weeks. I pointed out that this being my 7th baby there is little hope of me making it that far. And Grace came so fast that I didn't have time for antibiotics and at the age of only 17 days old she had meningitis as a result. I pointed out that meningitis is life threatening. A baby born at 38 weeks is not.

Given the choice it's a no brainer. She said although the hospital won't allow her to admit me at 38 weeks for a induction she thinks the baby is at too great of a risk and so she would start it at her office to get the contractions going then I can be admitted. She thinks if the cervix is softened there are things we can do to get labor started. And control it. She calls it a soft admission.

What is the hospital thinking? I am not only a carrier of group b strep, I have a full blown outbreak throughout my body which most women do not, so if I don't get antibiotics in time, the baby is actually at risk of dying! So, I feel a HUGE weight is lifted. After seeing Grace go through 5 spinal taps, and the other horrible procedures, I was terrified it would happen again.

I should have switched Dr's months and months ago!

Thanks for the input my friends. I was so frustrated I was to the point of not wanting to go to another Dr again.

We're finally getting a little closer. About 7 weeks to go. I can do this. I can do this....

In Pursuit Of The Perception Of Perfection!

I hate being in a funk and I think I am there again.
Went to pick up Zach from football this morning and when I arrived I saw the one woman/mom that bugs the crap out of me. Boob Job Betty. The one with the perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect car, now the perfect teeth since her braces are off, perfect boobs, and perfect house. And there was me. In my jammies (in my defense...Tony claims it looks like a house dress. Does that count?) With red eyes from crying from fighting with the crappy Dr, and wild bed hair. At least I didn't get out of the car so she could see me in all my glory. Ughh why of all the mom's did I have to run into her? She is so snotty to me. And somehow I always end up feeling like spam sucking trailer trash around her.
Unfortunately she is also Zach's best friends mom. So I had to take Zach by her house to pick up his stuff. And Zach was pointing out the new cars they just bought. Including the new truck for his friend who just turned 16. And then he told me about the maid that comes daily that they like to tease. And for some reason everything just really, really bugged the crap out of me. I was even envious of her only having two kids. Thinking I envy how easy it must be. And the money, and the cars, and the maids. And thinking I want it all too. Or at least thinking I want to have that dang perception of perfection. And yet somehow I just don't think I will ever get there. Do you ever wonder why some women seem so, so together and then there are women like me? And suddenly I just felt so dang tired.
So I finally did the smart thing and went home. And went back to bed. For FOUR hours! Sheesh!
Did it help my mood? Not really but at least I am not so dang tired.
My teens were awsome watching the littles for me today so I could sleep and stay in bed today. They really are fantastic on the days that I am puking all day. I guess if I can't have it all at least I still have a great family. And know someday it will get easier.

Now help me here~I have been worried over the name thing...Tony and I just haven't been able to come up with a name we agreed on. And then I was watching Discovery health Birth stories and heard a name I loved. It was this little Mexican couple that named their baby this. But I don't think it sounded Hispanic. Tony thought it was too weird. But I love it. So I have continued to bug the snot out of him. And my cousin came over and I was telling her how I was worried cause I loved the name but Tony thought it was weird. So then Tony says hey, if you love it, go ahead and name her it. So I tell Sherri the name and guess what?? She tells me that is my Cousin Becky's daughters name! Are you kidding me?
I've never even heard of another person with this name! I can't believe it!
I have nothing. Nadda. No names I love. Just this one.
So my question is is it rude to name your kid a name that other family members names theirs?
I never see Becky, never talk to her, didn't even know her daughter was named that.
Hey Rebecca~ Were you watching Birth Stories too? Dang~
I want to name our little girl Addlynn. Or spell it addeline. Or Addelynne. Not sure on the spelling yet. Plus need a middle name and don't have anything either.Maybe after 6 you run out of ideas?
Whatcha think of the name? Does it matter if my cousin named hers the same if we never see each other?
Any other name suggestions?
We are getting to the end here and nothing fits. Just this one name!
HELLLP!

Happy Birthday Ethan!!!

Ethan James,

My big old boy. Where did the time go? With you it always flies by. You keep me so busy I don't really have time to sit back and reflect too much!

This past year has been a year of huge changes for you. Mostly you went from being this really mellow, easy going little guy into being a wild, funny, crazy kid!

When Zachary was 2 he was pretty mellow. Very easy. But I have to say you~ Well, you shock me! I didn't realize a kid could be so BOY! So busy! So into EVERYTHING!

I get a chuckle when people offer to watch you and when they drop you off they exclaim~ "Wow! He is alot of work isn't he?" Of course they always tell me you weren't bad or anything, just busy. Into everything! And yes you really are! It seems as if you never stop. You have two speeds. Full speed and off. No in between.

This year you have developed a love for whacking things. Cats, sisters, bushes, your dad. Whatever you can hit with a stick the better. When your dad bought you a light saber last month I thought we were in deep, deep trouble. Fortunately the damage has been minimal and you love that thing!

You love being outside and exploring. You love finding bugs and parts of birds and lizards that the cats have killed. Yuck! We had a pretty hairy week there when you thought it was hilarious to throw half eaten lizard bodies or a bird's foot on me. My screaming cracked you up and you did it over and over again! I thought I was going to have a heart attack over it.

You love cars, and trucks, dinosaurs, you dad,pizza and swimming. Your favorite movie is Madagascar 2 and you could watch it everyday, several times a day.

Lately you have been walking all around the house singing the song Moto Moto the hippo sings...I like em big..I like em chunky. Hmm. Maybe that's why you love me so much? Anyhow, your older brother and sister actually downloaded the song onto their ipods so they could play it for you over and over again and it delights you every time!

Your brothers and sisters love you so much as you do them!

Your dad loves that stupid movie as much as you do and the two of you often watch it together sometimes two times in a row.Your daddy is your best friend and you love hanging out with him. He gets up early every Saturday morning and the two of you hang out. Go to the store together, tinker around the yard, and watch Star Wars Clone Wars. It is kind of funny and yet very sweet that during the week you are my little buddy following me around but on Saturday it is all about dad. I could be chopped liver for all you notice me.

I am shocked at how much bigger you are than your sisters. You outweigh them and are in bigger sizes of clothes than them. You are a rock solid, a chunk and I love it. I am always gobbling up those fat cheeks!

You bring so much fun and love into this family and I simply can't imagine not having you a part of it!

I love, love, love you and can't wait to see what the next year brings! Happy Birthday big guy!!!

Here are some things your family loves about you~

Dad~You're chunky! You say funny things. You are so snuggly. I love the way you look at me sideways when you are being tricky!

Zach~ I love how energetic he is. He is a man's man. He fits in with the boys.

Rachelle~ How cute and rambunctious he is

Hannah~ I love how wild, crazy and fun he is yet he is also snuggly

Bailey~How he lets go of balloons so easily. I love him coloring with me.

Grace~ He plays with me.

Too Late??

I am frustrated beyond belief with my Dr. It is a cattle call every time and I am so sick and tired of waiting one to two hours every time. And then they only have a few minutes to give you. I am irritable and don't have the patience for it.

So after a really frustrating call with them I thought I'd just stop going altogether. Be done with it. Just show up for delivery but Tony thinks this is a bad idea. I should just suck it up and keep going to them.

Well they won't give me the medicine I need until they see me but they won't have a opening for two weeks. They tell me I need to get in ASAP but then I am told two weeks is the absolute earliest I can be seen by the front desk.

So to save my sanity cause I am over the edge I am thinking I want to change OB's. Can't be any worse right?

Is it too late to change Dr.'s in the seventh month of pregnancy? Do ya think I can go without anymore care until I deliver?

I am so done and don't want to be bothered anymore. But I keep hoping maybe I can find a Dr like the kind I had in Utah and Colorado.

Does it even really matter?

So give me some advice here. I am moody and can't think straight.

On another note here..Tony had a luncheon he had to go to for Lowe's up in the mountains. They donated a ton of money and labor for the MDA camp and they were having a MVP lunch to thank them. I decided to go with him. Stay the night and have a little time away from the little ones.

It was delightful and we had a great time with just the two of us. But on the way home I was so, so sick. Puking and miserable. Tony was teasing me a little that I wasn't smiling any more. That is until we got to the gas station. And this Tahoe pulls up next to us. And it was like watching one of those circus cars. Their doors opened and it was LOADED. Coolers, pillows, sleeping bags, luggage. And then the people started piling out. So many people. And we were saying how funny that they could fit THAT many people and all that crap in the car when they then pulled THIS out......

Cause who doesn't bring their goats on vacation? Funny. His name is Cash. Cause the family LOVES Johnny Cash! Oh yeah I can see how they do!

Happy Birthday Bailey!!!

My sweet girl Bailey~

I'm feelin kinda weepy today. I can't believe that today you turned 5! Time is passing way too fast for me and I'm worried I'm not taking the time to enjoy each and every second of your being my little girl.

I think back to one of my very favorite memories of you. You were only two years old and just as you do now you were sleeping in my bed. I woke up with this strange feeling of being watched. I opened my eyes and you were wide awake. Staring at my face. You put both hands on my cheeks and put your face right up to mine so our noses were almost touching and in the sweetest voice I have ever heard you whispered "you the bestest mommy eva" It melted my heart. That sweet side of you is one of my favorite things about you.

You are so kind and gentle with everyone you are around. Friends, brothers, sisters,school mates. People are always telling me they just can't get over what a sweet girl you are. I just smile and say "Yeah I know!" And my heart swells with love.

This past year has been a fun one. Watching you as you have grown and changed. You are getting so big. I love watching the make believe games you play with Grace.You have quite the imagination and I love hearing you explain to Grace the way things are. I got a chuckle out of you telling me that you had changed Ethan's poopy diaper for me because I had been throwing up all morning. You were so proud of the fact that you changed it and that it was "pretty disgusting"

You've developed a bit of a mischievious side and that is OK with us! It's good to see that sass come out sometimes!

I get frustrated with you sometimes because you will change clothes five, six, even seven times a day. You love dressing up. You are all about the clothes, the hair, the accessories. I had to smile when we went to Gymboree and you told your dad and I you were in charge. Cause you know just what looks cute on you. And you had to choose the shirt, and the pants, and a necklace to go with the outfit and a purse. And a headband. And we bought it all. And you kept telling me how people just weren't going to believe how totally cute you are. I think you have more fashion sense at the age of five than your mom does now...at the age of 29....errr ok..29 and a half....! You are a little diva.

Your older brother and sister love training you like a little dog. They like to make you say things (like wassup Zach, bust homie) and other stupid stuff. They like showing you funky handshakes, and different dance moves. I think you are their pet and you love it!

Some of your favorite things are gardening with your dad, anything princess, barbies, flowers,shrimp,kittens, watching cartoons and playing with friends.

This is the first year you have attended preschool and you did so well! It was so hard on you everytime you were sick and had to miss days! You loved Ms McClure and she loved you.I think you will miss having her for a teacher but you are now ready for kindergarten and super excited to begin. I am not so sure I am though. Like I said...time feels like it is slipping away and I want to savor each and every moment!

I want you to know I feel blessed each and every day that you are in my life. You make me want to scream some days, but mostly you make me smile. There isn't anything about you that I can think of that I don't love! You add so much to this family and we love you so much!

I can't wait to see what the next 5 years bring!

Happy Birthday Sweet Bailey!!!!

Here are some of the things your brothers and sisters say they love about you...

Zachary~She always brightens up my mood. She is brilliant. She is a good helper. Always willing to help me.

Rachelle~I love how spontaneos she can be. I love her willingness to snuggle. Always.

Hannah~She can pick a good fight. She has nice hair. She is sweet.

Grace~Her plays with me. She plays games. She takes pictures of moths that are big and pretty and she takes pictures of butterflies that are pretty!

Daddy~ How motherly she is. She is always looking after others. She saved Gracie twice in the pool!

She knows when someone sneaks out of the house and lets us know. She is my spy for when Zachary has girls over. She will tell me if they are kissing.

We hope you had a happy happy birthday Bailey! You are loved so much!