Saturday, May 1, 2010

Time To Start Asking~ Is It Me??

I'm feeling totally bummed and frustrated tonight. So I think I am gonna vent a minute here even at the risk of sounding like a pathetic loser!

See ever since living here in Arizona I have had the hardest freakin time making friends! It's unlike anything I've ever experienced! I mean yeah...I am socially retarded at first and I would totally rather go to a proctologist than put myself out there and try to make new friends but I HAVE been trying!

And it feels like I come off as a stalker or something. There is only so many times I can ask someone to do something before I get it~ they don't want to hang out! Ok!

I even thought that I'd try to get into a bunko group. So I could make friends. But you know what? They have a approved list of who can and cannot sub! No, not be a regular, but sub! I guess I am not cool enough! What the freak? I've always played in groups. In Cali I played in two. And I was in them in Utah and Clolorado! Whatever.

But I miss having girlfriends! In Utah we'd have get aways where a group of us would ditch our kids and hubbys and we'd go away. Park City, or to the mountains in a cabin. Just a girls weekend. And my family would camp with their families. And I'd find my cheeks cramping from laughing so much when we'd hang out.
And yet I can't seem to make one single friend here. And it bothers me but I've tried not to think about it. But last night we sat with another couple at the comedy club. Both shows were sold out so we came early for the dinner. The couple that sat with us were so fun. And Jenna the woman there asked how many kids we had. I told her 11 total and she laughed and said she had 10! Then Tony was telling her we just got a bassett hound puppy. And they told us they have two! And she is my age. And we both laughed over the diet she was doing that I had tried already.there were just so many things we had in common. And we laughed and I got along so good with her just in those three hours before the show. It reminded me how much I miss hanging out with girlfriends. Going to lunch,the movies, scrap booking, camping, talking. Just girl stuff. She lives in Surprise which is very far away. And I was bummed.It reminded me how lonely I feel here. Pathetic I know!

So today I am just frustrated and bummed. And want to move away now worse than ever. I feel like a outcast here. I don't fit in and I am praying that the position opens up for us to be able to move back to Utah.

And in the meantime I guess maybe it's time for me start asking myself~ Is it me??
Sighhh....

10 comments:

Ginger said...

I don't think it's you. I think something is wrong with your ward. I don't care how young or old you are it is one of life's tricks to find that special friend that you can enjoy unconditionally. I have only had a few in my life. Most are just fringe friends, friendly, care some but not a lot. Not someone I can be really close to. It is wonderful when you have them, but you need to build the relationships in your family since they are the ones that are here for the long haul. You keep looking and trying to find that special friend, often it is the person you least expect it to be, but sooner or later you will find them. The trick is to be content with them or without. Not always easy to do. I have it to be a good discussion to have in prayer. Maybe someone else is offering the same prayer and you will connect. In the meantime, know it's not you.

Amanda said...

i totally get it, i'm having a hard time here in Virginia making friends as well. i'm in the playgroup the church has and that's been great but i've yet to meet that one type of friend that i so despretly crave. it's also hard since most of them are SO devoted to being a mom and wife and they don't want to spend any time away from their family (i know they are crazy) but once a week at playgroup i get to go to playgroup where my kids can play with theirs and all the grownups can chat and laugh. i miss my girlfriends back home and can't to move back home. i agree with grandma its not you, you are an amazing person. i love you!

The Northwest Bunch said...

Lauri I feel your pain. I had lots of friends in the desert and ones the I had left behind in Temecula. I had only one friend in my ward. My ward was very clickish and they let you know it. I went to the park one day and did not realize they were having a playgroup and when they saw me one of the girls said "Why are you here?" I knew right then and there I did not want to be friends with those who chose to be selective based on ridiculous unknown reasons.
You are truly are an inspiring women who I have the utmost respected for. In my darkish hours I remember you and all your strength that you have. You are a women of great worth and someone should be lucky to count you as a friend.
Do not give up there is a friend out there. I have great friends here in WA but they are not the playgroup kind a people. I find myself lost sometimes to really connect with others. Maybe it just not my time to have BFF but I do know that my family is stronger. I am here for them more than worrying about the crazy activities. Do not get me wrong I love the GIRLS NIGHT fun and we all deserve it.
I think that you should find the sub list of the BUNKO group you want to join and create your own BUNKO group. You might make some great friends and really have some fun.
I know that I live far away and we have never lived in the same town but I call you my sister as well as my friend.

Jenifer said...

I'm sorry, but your ward sounds so weird. WEird bunko group and your RS president was a weirdo when you were pregnant. You should move back here!
And no, it's not you, I like you the instant we met! I guess the 7 miles we live apart from each other is too much to overcome;)
I'm still looking forward to the 27th! We should try to get together before then.
And I loved that you invited us to the comedy show. I was bummed all week that we couldn't go.

Shelli said...

Here's a poem I thought you would like.

http://recently-banned-literature.blogspot.com/2010/05/after-fire.html

And anyone who has laughed until they cried with you knows it isn't you!

RhondaLue said...

I'm sending you a private message on FB about this cuz I don't want it public. People stalk me, ya know.
LOL

Lynda said...

Laurie... I can't believe you're having trouble making friends. I think you are one of the most fun, sweetest, funniest, most interesting people I have met.
It is hard to make friends as an adult when you move to new places.
I have been thinking a lot about this because we're thinking of relocating for retirement. Although that changes every other week!
Try the library, groups you are interested in outside your Church group, volunteer at the food bank an hour a week, or somewhere else they need help...homeless shelter, abused women's home, or somewhere you happiness would be welcome.
Anyone who doesn't want to be your friend is just stupid!
Love you!

sherry said...

Laurie! I have been absent from all blogs for months and I am feeling horrible that I just barely read this! It's not you. It sounds like you were just super unlucky in the ward you got put in. Really unlucky. It is amazing how much of our social life is involved in the church.When we first got married and lived in Payson I didn't have a single friend the whole 3 years I lived there. I thought it might be me until we moved down to Mesa and I instantly had friends. Because I had moved into a good ward. And not to be rude, but your cousin is a SLACKER!;) I'm sorry I have not been a very good friend to you lately. I'm only 20 minutes away and caught up in all of my own stuff. But your mom is right, you can focus on your family!(me) You are seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world. And you can sub in my bunko group any time! You would totally fit in. Now that summer is starting again we can do our weekly lunch playdates again. It has been a long time....

Crazymamaof6 said...

WTH?! it's totally not you. it's me. i was just super busy when you were inviting me. and crap was going down but i think you are so awesome. and have tons of fun every time we hang out. last night was a blast and i'm so glad you invited me. we should seriously go again soon. it was a GOOD TIME!

Crazymamaof6 said...

and some bunko groups just suck. all those ladies and it turns into highschool again.